is a fantastic article. Yes, it's an essay about essays (and one I wish I could show to some of my old uni lecturers), but the opening paragraph has a statement of general truth that I'm tempted to plaster all over the world.
"What you do need is That Thing; maybe a question, a fear or a fury. It makes your blood boil. It’s all you can talk about when you sit down with your friends over a glass of wine or two or five, or maybe you can’t talk about it with anyone, just your own heart, alone with the impossible architecture of words."
THAT. That's what I feel every time I go into the garden to plant or tidy or just admire. That's how I feel about parasites[*] and diseases and weird science. That's why I watched a video of two women dissecting a giant anteater. It's passion and drive and a need for knowledge. It's being unashamedly excited about weird animals like the Satanic Leaf Tailed Gecko, because how can the existence of such a creature not be endlessly fascinating?
So, is there a point to this? Well, yes. Moving to England was great and a literal dream come true. But it's been 7 years and it's time for a new dream and a career in IT or telecomms isn't it. I'm not invested enough to put money and effort into further training. I'm not willing to do time in the trenches of 24/7 support, because I just don't care enough about the field.
But my garden? I care about my garden. I have plans for it. And when I'm 45, I'd like to stand at my window looking out over a few acres, wondering how the hell to make it into something full of flowers and trees and animals and insects. I want a large shed with a smoker. I want to know about alpaca care and whether they like living with goats. And how does
one get a hold of Indian Runner Ducks? Can I use raw pig manure on the garden or would it need to stew for a while? How on earth do you shave an alpaca? How do you butcher a pig?
I can see myself working on that for the next 10 years, maybe even 20. So once the house is done, I'll go back to work and do something that occupies my time and earns me enough money to start saving in earnest.
[*]Did you know there are nematodes that naturally occur in slugs and normally, they have a balance (because killing the host is usually not in a parasite's best interest), but when you increase the nematode population in the soil and slugs, all your slugs die? This is brilliant. Safe and non-toxic pest control!