Attention ancient fart in the new mini:

Here's a few little hints you might want to rethink driving that car:

- You have two walking sticks on the passenger seat.

- Pedestrians flatten themselves against the nearest wall or fling themselves behind the nearest tree as you hurtle past at approximately light speed, leaving clouds of noxious fumes.

- You are using your teeth to grip the steering wheel as you shift gear.

- You're not using your original teeth to grip the steering wheel, or

- You're not using any teeth to grip the steering wheel but are merely gumming it.

- You can't see without those inch thick glasses.

- You can't see a hell of a lot more with those inch thick glasses.

- You are wearing a cap that is wider than your ears and longer than your nose.

In short:

- If bloody Methuselah himself would fucking call you gramps and offer you his seat on the bloody train, you're damned well not supposed to be fucking driving, you maniac.

No love,

Me

*twitch*

Attention ancient fart in the new mini:

Here's a few little hints you might want to rethink driving that car:

- You have two walking sticks on the passenger seat.

- Pedestrians flatten themselves against the nearest wall or fling themselves behind the nearest tree as you hurtle past at approximately light speed, leaving clouds of noxious fumes.

- You are using your teeth to grip the steering wheel as you shift gear.

- You're not using your original teeth to grip the steering wheel, or

- You're not using any teeth to grip the steering wheel but are merely gumming it.

- You can't see without those inch thick glasses.

- You can't see a hell of a lot more with those inch thick glasses.

- You are wearing a cap that is wider than your ears and longer than your nose.

In short:

- If bloody Methuselah himself would fucking call you gramps and offer you his seat on the bloody train, you're damned well not supposed to be fucking driving, you maniac.

No love,

Me

*twitch*