Pirate angst
Oct. 8th, 2007 05:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sessifetI would be an absolute disgrace to the pirate profession. One is not supposed to feel guilty for stealing someone else's hard-earned money. It'd look weird, for starters. I'm certain, were I a real pirate, I'd leave a trail of bemused victims. Real pirates don't have the urge to hang over the railing shouting back "I'm dreadfully sorry about that, old chap" while sailing off into the sunset.
I'd attack people and go 'Whoops, I didn't mean to stab your eye out" and remarks of that kind. You just can't make a proper living if you're known as The Apologetic Pirate.
Having said all that: I really am most dreadfully sorry about bombing you and stealing your hard-earned money. Believe me, I think about it long and hard before doing it. I don't want to bomb you*. In fact, chances are I will have warned you that I don't want to. However, at some point one's mind overrules one's heart. In my case, it takes about 10 opportunities before I actually go through with it.
On the upside: It's thoughtful bombing, done with love and care and attention to detail**.
On the downside: I've just bombed you. I feel dreadful about it, and wish I hadn't done it. Really. Honestly.
On the upside: I now have more gold than I had before...
* I just want your gold.
** I make sure to spell your name right.
I'd attack people and go 'Whoops, I didn't mean to stab your eye out" and remarks of that kind. You just can't make a proper living if you're known as The Apologetic Pirate.
Having said all that: I really am most dreadfully sorry about bombing you and stealing your hard-earned money. Believe me, I think about it long and hard before doing it. I don't want to bomb you*. In fact, chances are I will have warned you that I don't want to. However, at some point one's mind overrules one's heart. In my case, it takes about 10 opportunities before I actually go through with it.
On the upside: It's thoughtful bombing, done with love and care and attention to detail**.
On the downside: I've just bombed you. I feel dreadful about it, and wish I hadn't done it. Really. Honestly.
On the upside: I now have more gold than I had before...
* I just want your gold.
** I make sure to spell your name right.
