sessifet | Reading

Based entirey on my probably-inaccurate and decidedly non-expert recollection (I will definitely have some things in the wrong order):

USA: We're not so sure about this NATO thing. Maybe we'd honour Article 5; we'd have to think about it. You should be spending a lot more on defence. Oh and by the way, we're going to publicly undermine your governments, meet with your far-right parties, and some of our rich people with governmental ties will be funding them.

*time passes*

USA: Our new Security Strategy says that Europe is on its own, and if you care about Ukraine it's up to you to deal with it. Also, we plan to invade part of Denmark.

*time passes*

USA: Uh, when we said you should spend more on defence, we meant with American companies! Why are you buying arms elsewhere? How did this happen? That's really disrespectful. By the way, your troops basically didn't do any fighting in Afghanistan. You've never helped us. Why are you sending military personnel to Greenland?

*time passes*

USA: We want to bomb Iran! Can we use your airbases?
Europe: Why do you want to bomb Iran?
USA: We don't know! Can we use your airbases?

Europe: No.

USA: Betrayal! By an ally! What about the Special Relationship?

*Iranian missile hits a British airbase in Cyprus*

UK: OK, we'll let you use our airbases for anti-missile-launcher operations. Also, we're sending an area air defense ship to Cyprus.
USA: Too late, loser, we're not interested in you joining a war to claim the credit when we already won it.

*a short time passes*

USA: Europe, we need you to send ships to protect the Strait of Hormuz, in this war that we already won.
Europe: No.
UK: Didn't you just say you didn't want us?
USA: *threatens to pull out of NATO*