Bleh.

[sessifet]

I've come to terms with being broken. I know I can't do everything, and I know I need to pace myself to make sure my hip and back do not go 'eep' loudly. I'm better than I was a few months ago (yay swimming). I also know it won't ever go away and I will be in pain for the rest of my life.

I can deal. I cope. I'm actually starting not to panic when I remember being told about being disabled. During the week, I am fine.

But on weekends?

Gods, on weekends I wish there was nothing wrong with me. Even if I am in just the right bed, I cannot spend more than 9 hours there*. I would give anything to be able to grab a book or partner, tea, some toast and spend all day in bed. I want to be able to choose to snooze or laze or snuggle the day away. I don't want to be jealous of people who can do so and don't get kicked out of bed by their bodies.

* Unless I am a) ill or b) exhausted. The only reason I do not get out of bed at those times is because I can't and I pay for it later.

Comments

[cherade9.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry hun. Both of my folks have issues being comfortable in bed and sleeping because of their disabilities. I take it you have the most comfortable bed you can get?

I don't want to try and think of a load of suggestions and dis empower you.. it's not a good feeling. But if you would like another head to figure out new solutions for issues you face I'm always around :)

[supermouse.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I think I get all your excess bed time.

I have the opposite problem. Increasingly, my legs want to be up and make sitting upright on a sofa or chair intensely painful. Walking is alright, but standing hurts. If I can lounge, I will lounge. I no longer find eating in restaurants at all enjoyable.