Here goes...
Mar. 1st, 2010 11:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sessifetI've been writing quite a lot lately. There's notebooks and scraps of paper and stuff on my phone. Some of it's whole scenes, other bits of it snippets of dialogue and other bits still are worldbuilding. It's not a complete thing in my head. I can sense the picture but it doesn't talk to me as such, nor have I seen it as a whole since the flash of inspiration.
It feels like a jigsaw puzzle. There's a corner here, a piece of sky there and a 'that's what I'm supposed to look like' overall feeling.
I've been poking it and prodding it and fighting with voices and characters (Eugene is very ticked off at his nickname) and I got a bit...disheartened in a way. Then I read this and remembered that I never have complete stories from start to finish. I only ever have bits and pieces and maybe a vague sense of a timeline and plot. And this is not wrong. So I sat down again and hammered at it for a while.
It's not perfect, but it says everything I want it to say and introduces the two main characters. It may not say it exactly how it wants to be said and it's probably a bit stilted and abrupt in places, but that's nearly 3000 words wot I wrote all by myself. I'm sort of happy with it.
Once upon a time in a small second-hand book store, there lived the Ancient and Venerable Plink. No one knows why he was called this, bec –
What? Yes, yes, of course you know why and so do I. But they don't and we're telling this story to them.
Ahem.
No one knows why he was called the Ancient and Venerable Plink, because at the time of our story, he was neither very Ancient nor very Venerable. In fact, Plink was really quite young and, so his elders felt, not very bright. One of his teachers once described him as 'sadly lacking any form of wit or cleverness'.
Ow. You bit me!
Look, you want me to tell this story or not? Because you can do it yourself if you want this to be all about how wonderful and perfect you are and how everyone loved you, rather than the story of your life. If you want me to write this down (and last time I looked, you couldn't hold a pen), you need to stop interrupting me.
Very well, I'll skip the character references and get on with the story.
But still, no biting! I need those fingers.
One morning, the Ancient and Venerable Plink was dozing on his favourite bookshelf, waiting for his scheduled silverfish. It was not a nice day at all, he thought. He passed by the big shop window earlier and outside was grim and miserable. The sky was a uniform grey and it was drizzling. There was no wind, no lightning, nothing interesting happening. Not even a really bad rainstorm to leave the world outside nice and clean. Just another grey and dull morning. And the Ancient and Vener -
Look, can we stop doing this? I don't mind writing 'The Ancient and Venerable Plink' every time if that's what you really want, but it's going to get old really fast for the readers. Can't I just leave it off? Is that okay? Thanks.
Where was I? Oh yes. It was just one of those grey and dull mornings and Plink hated 'dull'. He hated having the whole day stretch out in front of him with nothing interesting to do. He wanted to go out and do things. Of course, had you asked him at that time, he would have been unsure of what said things would be, but by gods, they'd be interesting! He was sure he could find something to do that was at least more fun than waiting here for some boring silverfish to trot up and ask him to perform that dull and dreary and, quite frankly, stupid ritual.
So why didn't he just go out and do these interesting things? Well, Plink might think his life was boring and the ritual was stupid, but he also knew that he was only a small and young book lizard and the world beyond the shop was really big. A small book lizard such as himself would easily get lost out there and he might not be able to get back. So Plink stayed where he was, and dreamed of the day when he'd be big and strong enough to go outside and have Adventures.*
And the daydreams were enough, for now. They wiled away many an hour and helped him get through days, waiting for the next best thing to having an Adventure to happen. And the next best thing? Well, that was a bright and somewhat sunny day. Because on those days, when the weather was right, there would be people in the shop. Plink never really understood why they'd want to spend time in the shop. Oh sure, it was his home and he was quite fond of it, but still he realised that it was full of old books, dust and silverfish and nothing particularly interesting at all (oh, and the store owner's nasty cat).
Ow! Blasted cat! Don't you start as well! I'm telling this story from his perspective, okay? Take it up with him, if you want. But no eating him! I'd hate to cut this story short.
But still, they would come. On a really good day, there would be as many as ten people at a time! He would follow them around, running from shelf to shelf, keeping out of sight as best he could, and just watch them go about their business. Some of them would talk to the woman who owned the store and others would just nod at her and disappear into the stacks of shelves where they'd poke around and pick up books (Plink thought this was incredibly rude. Didn't they know there were houses behind these shelves?), putting them back after leafing through them and sometimes (and this was something Plink really did not understand) taking the book to the front of the store. There they would hand it to the woman and give paper things or metal discs to her and then they would walk out of the store with the book! How rude! That might be someone's front lawn!
Still, he followed them around. Sometimes they would talk to each other and sometimes they wouldn't. To Plink it was all the same; there was something happening that was not part of normal book lizard life and he wanted to know as much about it as possible.
The Elders still grumbled about this. When he was younger (even younger than he was now), they would remind him that book lizards never had anything to do with these big people and that it would be best if he kept away from them at all times. Also, how was his education going? Plink would roll his eyes secretly** and say it was going fine, thank you for asking, sir.
Plink never liked lessons. He'd often got into trouble. Once, he had asked why his kind did not have anything to do with the big people, because...well, they were really tall and they went outside and they saw the big world and he thought that was a marvellous thing and couldn't they talk to the big people to learn about what was outside?
His teacher had given him a look and told him it was 'obvious'. Plink hadn't thought it was obvious at all, but this particular teacher had a sharp tongue and a habit of doling out boring punishments for the simplest things and Plink really had not wanted to spend another week of memorising and reciting the ancient lessons and so he never asked again.
He'd tried to keep his fascination with the big people largely a secret, but everyone knew Plink was odd and he didn't have many friends that were his age (book lizards are very traditional people). When he was a small(er) book lizard he had fussed about that, but now he was of age he'd stopped worrying about it for the most part. In a few years, when it was time to get married it might be of interest again, but for now he was happy to be ignored by his peers. There weren't any interesting girls around anyway.
For the moment, he was content to watch the big people go about their business, hoping to learn more. But still, he'd love to go out with one of them and go outside. That would be wonderful indeed.***
Plink dozed off into daydreams once more. His happy musings were interrupted by a very small and very polite cough. He shook himself out his doze and blinked blearily in the direction of the sound. His vision cleared and he saw a small silverfish standing in front of him. It was a handsome looking silverfish, clear of scale and eye and stood a bit taller than the usual silverfish as well. The only odd thing was that it held a small staf in its arms. The silverfish looked at him gravely, bowed its head and spoke: 'Well met.'
He blinked and panicked slightly. All of a sudden, he'd forgotten how it was supposed to go again. Silverfish weren't supposed to ask for attention, he remembered that much.
'Er...' he ventured. Drat. Wrong response. How did this go again? He shook himself and gathered what dignity he could:
'Well met. How may I assist you today?'
The silverfish stared at him for a bit. He tried not to fidget. Come on, you know how this works. What's the next bit?
It continued staring and said 'I am called Salamanca.'
'I am called Plink, friend Salamanca.' Oh gods, could this be anymore stupid and stilted?
Ow! What?! I'm writing it, aren't I?
Sorry?
Really? Oh. Well...you could've told me sooner.
Sigh. Very well then.
Dear reader, I have just been informed that I am not allowed to go into detail with regards to the ritual. I would have loved to explain the dance and poetry, but...I can't. It will forever remain 'book lizard eats silverfish', I'm afraid.
I do apologise for the fast-forward, but I hope you understand my hands are tied.
The Ancient and Venerable Plink shook his head and coughed. He hated it when a silverfish went down the wrong way. It was so very rude. While he didn't believe in the ritual as such, he did know that for the silverfish it was supposed to be full of dignity and grace and here he'd gone and screwed it up twice!
He swallowed again. The silverfish tickled his throat and he suppressed the urge to cough. It was stuck! He shook his head and tried again, but with no better luck. He panicked and spun around, shaking his head violently. He heard a faint 'oi!', followed by a sharp pain in his throat. He yelped, gagged and spat.
The silverfish shot out of his mouth, hit the opposite shelf and fell to the floor with a small 'oomph'. He sat down and wheezed a bit. The silverfish scrambled upright after a bit and cleaned itself off.
'That didn't go well,' it ventured eventually.
'You think?' Plink answered without thinking. He was really rather upset. 'What were you thinking, taking that staff along?' He frowned at the silverfish. 'Now we'll have to try again. Without the staff!' he added quickly.
It clutched the staff tight and glared at him. 'No! Who knows what'll happen then?'
'I don't think it can go any worse, that's for sure. Oh dear...I'm going to be in so much trouble!'
The silverfish sniffed and looked at him. 'You think you're in trouble? I'm the one who didn't get eaten here, let's not forget that.'
'You stabbed me, you...Gah. Never mind, can we just try again? I promise to make sure it doesn't happen again.'
It looked at him. 'No,' it said.
'No? What do you mean 'No'?'
It sat down abruptly and sniffed. 'I don't want to go,' it said quietly. Plink blinked in confusion. 'Don't want to go? But...you just did the ritual and everything!'
It stared at him. 'Yeah, but that's just words. It's a bit more real when you're marching down someone's throat...'
He blinked again, realisation dawning. 'You changed your mind? You went through the ritual and you changed your mind?! You can't do that!'
'I didn't change my mind,' it replied heatedly. 'I never really wanted to do this stupid ritual in the first place. Why should I have to go and be eaten just because I'm lame? It's not fair!'
'But isn't that what you're supposed to do? It's in the rules. Somewhere,' Plink asked, now confused.
'Well, they're stupid rules and I'm not following them anymore. I'm not going.' It crossed its arms, a determined expression on its face.
Plink gaped at it. It wasn't supposed to go like this. 'But...'
'I don't see why I can't be just as useful as any other silverfish,' the silverfish continued. 'After all, there's nothing wrong with me, really. I can do everything they can.' It glared at Plink, who hadn't said anything, but just sat there blinking stupidly. 'I can, you know!'
'You certainly can stab people with that stick,' Plink muttered without thinking, swallowing painfully.
It looked at him. 'I also have really good hearing,' it said drily.
It stood up. 'You're right, though,' it said before Plink could even make a token apology. 'It's really handy. I can reach high places with it too.' It looked at him proudly. 'I made it myself. Look at this!' It fiddled with the staff and a small hook appeared. 'See? I can use this bit for climbing and this,' another twist, 'this is for grabbing things and this,' another twist, 'this helps me looks around corners and, oooh, this one's a good one,' another twist, 'this gives me light and that one...well, that one stabs things.' It chittered on happily, completely oblivious to Plink's growing astonishment and horror. 'Oh! This one's so much fun! It...actually, I'm not sure what that does. Or that one. Or this one. I'm sure there's a use for it, but I've not found it yet. Looks interesting, though. I do wonder what it does.'
It looked up into Plink's astonished and horrified face. It beamed at him. 'Isn't it beautiful?'
Oh, great. Plink thought. I just had to be given this one. I couldn't get a normal one. A simple one. Nooooo, they had to bloody well give me an artisan! 'Yes. very nice,' he said weakly.
'What's wrong?' The silverfish asked.'Don't you like it?'
He looked at it and the staff. 'No, no! It's...good. But. Er. It's like this...what was your name again?', he asked.
'Salamanca,' it said, 'And I know you can't tell what we are by looking at us so I'll tell you. I'm female.'
'Well, Salamanca...Ah. How much, exactly, did your people tell you about the ritual?' Plink asked tentatively.
'The usual,' she shrugged. 'Don't be a burden. For the good of the people. All that nonsense. Why?'
Oh, goodie. She doesn't know. Why me? He thought for a second. 'Anything else? At all?' he ventured hopefully.
'No, 'you're lame. Go get eaten' pretty much covered it. Why is this important? You're not going to change my mind, you know. I'm not going.' She waved her arms about and turned away. 'I don't care what you say...'
'I'm not trying to change your mind, really,' he said quickly, 'It's just that...' He thought for a second and tried again. 'There are rules. And for every rule there is an exception.'
'Exceptions? How?'
'I'm not sure I can explain properly. I don't know a lot about it myself, but...I know there's exceptions. I think I need to take you to one of the Elders.' He yelped and ducked as she spun around, pointing the staff at him while she did so.
'Could you please stop fiddling with that? I'd like it to not go off in my face.'
Salamanca looked at her staff in bemusement. 'Don't be silly. It's not going to go off.'
'How do you know?'
'I made it.'
He gave her a look. 'You don't even know what half of it does!'
'Yes, but I just know, okay?'
He sighed, but remained crouched down. 'Oh, lovely. Look, I really need you to come with me to the Elders. I promise you, nothing will happen to you.' I hope the same goes for me, he thought fervently.
She looked at him uncertainly.
'Please?'
'Why?'
'Because!' He nearly shouted. 'Because you stabbed me and you're not supposed to do that and you have a staff which does things you don't even know and I think you're an exception and I think you really, really need to talk to one of the Elders because they know all the rules and I don't.'
She stared at him. 'You want me to talk to one of your Elders because I stabbed you?'
'With your staff. Which you made yourself.'
'I don't see how that is relevant.'
He goggled at her. 'Not relevant?', he wanted to say, 'You made a staff. And you...'She doesn't know. He thought. There's no way I can explain this without sounding crazy. Well, to be honest, crazier.
He gave up. 'Right. Okay. Yes, I want you to come with me to one of my Elders because you stabbed me,' he said instead.
'You're weird.'
'Yes, thank you,' he said, rolling his eyes. 'Tell me something I don't know. Now will you please come with me?' When she hesitated he said quickly 'We're already in trouble for ruining the ritual. Do you really want to make it worse?' Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease let her know this one, at least..., he prayed silently.
She thought for a moment. 'I suppose,' she eventually answered. 'I guess I don't have anything better to do. I can't go home, that's for sure. Just one thing...'.
'Yes?'
'I think I damaged something hitting the floor and I don't think I can walk far. Could I...?'
'Sure.'
He helped her onto his shoulder. 'So what's this Elder of yours going to say?' she asked once she was settled comfortably (only stabbing him once or twice while doing so).
'I honestly don't know. Let's go find out.' And off they went into the gloom of the bookshelves.
*Plink was someone capable of thinking in Capitals. Adventures are much more exciting and worthwhile than simple adventures. Being a mere human, I cannot (or so I have been told) grasp the significance of Adventures and will therefore happily defer to Plink's better judgement in these matters.
**Seriously, try it. It is quite hard to roll your eyes without your parents or teachers noticing. It is a skill well worth developing.
***Plink had read enough books to know that one should really wish to be whatever species the adventurer in the book was, but he didn't really understand that. He was a book lizard, not a big person and didn't see how being one of them would be better than being himself.
It feels like a jigsaw puzzle. There's a corner here, a piece of sky there and a 'that's what I'm supposed to look like' overall feeling.
I've been poking it and prodding it and fighting with voices and characters (Eugene is very ticked off at his nickname) and I got a bit...disheartened in a way. Then I read this and remembered that I never have complete stories from start to finish. I only ever have bits and pieces and maybe a vague sense of a timeline and plot. And this is not wrong. So I sat down again and hammered at it for a while.
It's not perfect, but it says everything I want it to say and introduces the two main characters. It may not say it exactly how it wants to be said and it's probably a bit stilted and abrupt in places, but that's nearly 3000 words wot I wrote all by myself. I'm sort of happy with it.
Once upon a time in a small second-hand book store, there lived the Ancient and Venerable Plink. No one knows why he was called this, bec –
What? Yes, yes, of course you know why and so do I. But they don't and we're telling this story to them.
Ahem.
No one knows why he was called the Ancient and Venerable Plink, because at the time of our story, he was neither very Ancient nor very Venerable. In fact, Plink was really quite young and, so his elders felt, not very bright. One of his teachers once described him as 'sadly lacking any form of wit or cleverness'.
Ow. You bit me!
Look, you want me to tell this story or not? Because you can do it yourself if you want this to be all about how wonderful and perfect you are and how everyone loved you, rather than the story of your life. If you want me to write this down (and last time I looked, you couldn't hold a pen), you need to stop interrupting me.
Very well, I'll skip the character references and get on with the story.
But still, no biting! I need those fingers.
One morning, the Ancient and Venerable Plink was dozing on his favourite bookshelf, waiting for his scheduled silverfish. It was not a nice day at all, he thought. He passed by the big shop window earlier and outside was grim and miserable. The sky was a uniform grey and it was drizzling. There was no wind, no lightning, nothing interesting happening. Not even a really bad rainstorm to leave the world outside nice and clean. Just another grey and dull morning. And the Ancient and Vener -
Look, can we stop doing this? I don't mind writing 'The Ancient and Venerable Plink' every time if that's what you really want, but it's going to get old really fast for the readers. Can't I just leave it off? Is that okay? Thanks.
Where was I? Oh yes. It was just one of those grey and dull mornings and Plink hated 'dull'. He hated having the whole day stretch out in front of him with nothing interesting to do. He wanted to go out and do things. Of course, had you asked him at that time, he would have been unsure of what said things would be, but by gods, they'd be interesting! He was sure he could find something to do that was at least more fun than waiting here for some boring silverfish to trot up and ask him to perform that dull and dreary and, quite frankly, stupid ritual.
So why didn't he just go out and do these interesting things? Well, Plink might think his life was boring and the ritual was stupid, but he also knew that he was only a small and young book lizard and the world beyond the shop was really big. A small book lizard such as himself would easily get lost out there and he might not be able to get back. So Plink stayed where he was, and dreamed of the day when he'd be big and strong enough to go outside and have Adventures.*
And the daydreams were enough, for now. They wiled away many an hour and helped him get through days, waiting for the next best thing to having an Adventure to happen. And the next best thing? Well, that was a bright and somewhat sunny day. Because on those days, when the weather was right, there would be people in the shop. Plink never really understood why they'd want to spend time in the shop. Oh sure, it was his home and he was quite fond of it, but still he realised that it was full of old books, dust and silverfish and nothing particularly interesting at all (oh, and the store owner's nasty cat).
Ow! Blasted cat! Don't you start as well! I'm telling this story from his perspective, okay? Take it up with him, if you want. But no eating him! I'd hate to cut this story short.
But still, they would come. On a really good day, there would be as many as ten people at a time! He would follow them around, running from shelf to shelf, keeping out of sight as best he could, and just watch them go about their business. Some of them would talk to the woman who owned the store and others would just nod at her and disappear into the stacks of shelves where they'd poke around and pick up books (Plink thought this was incredibly rude. Didn't they know there were houses behind these shelves?), putting them back after leafing through them and sometimes (and this was something Plink really did not understand) taking the book to the front of the store. There they would hand it to the woman and give paper things or metal discs to her and then they would walk out of the store with the book! How rude! That might be someone's front lawn!
Still, he followed them around. Sometimes they would talk to each other and sometimes they wouldn't. To Plink it was all the same; there was something happening that was not part of normal book lizard life and he wanted to know as much about it as possible.
The Elders still grumbled about this. When he was younger (even younger than he was now), they would remind him that book lizards never had anything to do with these big people and that it would be best if he kept away from them at all times. Also, how was his education going? Plink would roll his eyes secretly** and say it was going fine, thank you for asking, sir.
Plink never liked lessons. He'd often got into trouble. Once, he had asked why his kind did not have anything to do with the big people, because...well, they were really tall and they went outside and they saw the big world and he thought that was a marvellous thing and couldn't they talk to the big people to learn about what was outside?
His teacher had given him a look and told him it was 'obvious'. Plink hadn't thought it was obvious at all, but this particular teacher had a sharp tongue and a habit of doling out boring punishments for the simplest things and Plink really had not wanted to spend another week of memorising and reciting the ancient lessons and so he never asked again.
He'd tried to keep his fascination with the big people largely a secret, but everyone knew Plink was odd and he didn't have many friends that were his age (book lizards are very traditional people). When he was a small(er) book lizard he had fussed about that, but now he was of age he'd stopped worrying about it for the most part. In a few years, when it was time to get married it might be of interest again, but for now he was happy to be ignored by his peers. There weren't any interesting girls around anyway.
For the moment, he was content to watch the big people go about their business, hoping to learn more. But still, he'd love to go out with one of them and go outside. That would be wonderful indeed.***
Plink dozed off into daydreams once more. His happy musings were interrupted by a very small and very polite cough. He shook himself out his doze and blinked blearily in the direction of the sound. His vision cleared and he saw a small silverfish standing in front of him. It was a handsome looking silverfish, clear of scale and eye and stood a bit taller than the usual silverfish as well. The only odd thing was that it held a small staf in its arms. The silverfish looked at him gravely, bowed its head and spoke: 'Well met.'
He blinked and panicked slightly. All of a sudden, he'd forgotten how it was supposed to go again. Silverfish weren't supposed to ask for attention, he remembered that much.
'Er...' he ventured. Drat. Wrong response. How did this go again? He shook himself and gathered what dignity he could:
'Well met. How may I assist you today?'
The silverfish stared at him for a bit. He tried not to fidget. Come on, you know how this works. What's the next bit?
It continued staring and said 'I am called Salamanca.'
'I am called Plink, friend Salamanca.' Oh gods, could this be anymore stupid and stilted?
Ow! What?! I'm writing it, aren't I?
Sorry?
Really? Oh. Well...you could've told me sooner.
Sigh. Very well then.
Dear reader, I have just been informed that I am not allowed to go into detail with regards to the ritual. I would have loved to explain the dance and poetry, but...I can't. It will forever remain 'book lizard eats silverfish', I'm afraid.
I do apologise for the fast-forward, but I hope you understand my hands are tied.
The Ancient and Venerable Plink shook his head and coughed. He hated it when a silverfish went down the wrong way. It was so very rude. While he didn't believe in the ritual as such, he did know that for the silverfish it was supposed to be full of dignity and grace and here he'd gone and screwed it up twice!
He swallowed again. The silverfish tickled his throat and he suppressed the urge to cough. It was stuck! He shook his head and tried again, but with no better luck. He panicked and spun around, shaking his head violently. He heard a faint 'oi!', followed by a sharp pain in his throat. He yelped, gagged and spat.
The silverfish shot out of his mouth, hit the opposite shelf and fell to the floor with a small 'oomph'. He sat down and wheezed a bit. The silverfish scrambled upright after a bit and cleaned itself off.
'That didn't go well,' it ventured eventually.
'You think?' Plink answered without thinking. He was really rather upset. 'What were you thinking, taking that staff along?' He frowned at the silverfish. 'Now we'll have to try again. Without the staff!' he added quickly.
It clutched the staff tight and glared at him. 'No! Who knows what'll happen then?'
'I don't think it can go any worse, that's for sure. Oh dear...I'm going to be in so much trouble!'
The silverfish sniffed and looked at him. 'You think you're in trouble? I'm the one who didn't get eaten here, let's not forget that.'
'You stabbed me, you...Gah. Never mind, can we just try again? I promise to make sure it doesn't happen again.'
It looked at him. 'No,' it said.
'No? What do you mean 'No'?'
It sat down abruptly and sniffed. 'I don't want to go,' it said quietly. Plink blinked in confusion. 'Don't want to go? But...you just did the ritual and everything!'
It stared at him. 'Yeah, but that's just words. It's a bit more real when you're marching down someone's throat...'
He blinked again, realisation dawning. 'You changed your mind? You went through the ritual and you changed your mind?! You can't do that!'
'I didn't change my mind,' it replied heatedly. 'I never really wanted to do this stupid ritual in the first place. Why should I have to go and be eaten just because I'm lame? It's not fair!'
'But isn't that what you're supposed to do? It's in the rules. Somewhere,' Plink asked, now confused.
'Well, they're stupid rules and I'm not following them anymore. I'm not going.' It crossed its arms, a determined expression on its face.
Plink gaped at it. It wasn't supposed to go like this. 'But...'
'I don't see why I can't be just as useful as any other silverfish,' the silverfish continued. 'After all, there's nothing wrong with me, really. I can do everything they can.' It glared at Plink, who hadn't said anything, but just sat there blinking stupidly. 'I can, you know!'
'You certainly can stab people with that stick,' Plink muttered without thinking, swallowing painfully.
It looked at him. 'I also have really good hearing,' it said drily.
It stood up. 'You're right, though,' it said before Plink could even make a token apology. 'It's really handy. I can reach high places with it too.' It looked at him proudly. 'I made it myself. Look at this!' It fiddled with the staff and a small hook appeared. 'See? I can use this bit for climbing and this,' another twist, 'this is for grabbing things and this,' another twist, 'this helps me looks around corners and, oooh, this one's a good one,' another twist, 'this gives me light and that one...well, that one stabs things.' It chittered on happily, completely oblivious to Plink's growing astonishment and horror. 'Oh! This one's so much fun! It...actually, I'm not sure what that does. Or that one. Or this one. I'm sure there's a use for it, but I've not found it yet. Looks interesting, though. I do wonder what it does.'
It looked up into Plink's astonished and horrified face. It beamed at him. 'Isn't it beautiful?'
Oh, great. Plink thought. I just had to be given this one. I couldn't get a normal one. A simple one. Nooooo, they had to bloody well give me an artisan! 'Yes. very nice,' he said weakly.
'What's wrong?' The silverfish asked.'Don't you like it?'
He looked at it and the staff. 'No, no! It's...good. But. Er. It's like this...what was your name again?', he asked.
'Salamanca,' it said, 'And I know you can't tell what we are by looking at us so I'll tell you. I'm female.'
'Well, Salamanca...Ah. How much, exactly, did your people tell you about the ritual?' Plink asked tentatively.
'The usual,' she shrugged. 'Don't be a burden. For the good of the people. All that nonsense. Why?'
Oh, goodie. She doesn't know. Why me? He thought for a second. 'Anything else? At all?' he ventured hopefully.
'No, 'you're lame. Go get eaten' pretty much covered it. Why is this important? You're not going to change my mind, you know. I'm not going.' She waved her arms about and turned away. 'I don't care what you say...'
'I'm not trying to change your mind, really,' he said quickly, 'It's just that...' He thought for a second and tried again. 'There are rules. And for every rule there is an exception.'
'Exceptions? How?'
'I'm not sure I can explain properly. I don't know a lot about it myself, but...I know there's exceptions. I think I need to take you to one of the Elders.' He yelped and ducked as she spun around, pointing the staff at him while she did so.
'Could you please stop fiddling with that? I'd like it to not go off in my face.'
Salamanca looked at her staff in bemusement. 'Don't be silly. It's not going to go off.'
'How do you know?'
'I made it.'
He gave her a look. 'You don't even know what half of it does!'
'Yes, but I just know, okay?'
He sighed, but remained crouched down. 'Oh, lovely. Look, I really need you to come with me to the Elders. I promise you, nothing will happen to you.' I hope the same goes for me, he thought fervently.
She looked at him uncertainly.
'Please?'
'Why?'
'Because!' He nearly shouted. 'Because you stabbed me and you're not supposed to do that and you have a staff which does things you don't even know and I think you're an exception and I think you really, really need to talk to one of the Elders because they know all the rules and I don't.'
She stared at him. 'You want me to talk to one of your Elders because I stabbed you?'
'With your staff. Which you made yourself.'
'I don't see how that is relevant.'
He goggled at her. 'Not relevant?', he wanted to say, 'You made a staff. And you...'She doesn't know. He thought. There's no way I can explain this without sounding crazy. Well, to be honest, crazier.
He gave up. 'Right. Okay. Yes, I want you to come with me to one of my Elders because you stabbed me,' he said instead.
'You're weird.'
'Yes, thank you,' he said, rolling his eyes. 'Tell me something I don't know. Now will you please come with me?' When she hesitated he said quickly 'We're already in trouble for ruining the ritual. Do you really want to make it worse?' Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease let her know this one, at least..., he prayed silently.
She thought for a moment. 'I suppose,' she eventually answered. 'I guess I don't have anything better to do. I can't go home, that's for sure. Just one thing...'.
'Yes?'
'I think I damaged something hitting the floor and I don't think I can walk far. Could I...?'
'Sure.'
He helped her onto his shoulder. 'So what's this Elder of yours going to say?' she asked once she was settled comfortably (only stabbing him once or twice while doing so).
'I honestly don't know. Let's go find out.' And off they went into the gloom of the bookshelves.
*Plink was someone capable of thinking in Capitals. Adventures are much more exciting and worthwhile than simple adventures. Being a mere human, I cannot (or so I have been told) grasp the significance of Adventures and will therefore happily defer to Plink's better judgement in these matters.
**Seriously, try it. It is quite hard to roll your eyes without your parents or teachers noticing. It is a skill well worth developing.
***Plink had read enough books to know that one should really wish to be whatever species the adventurer in the book was, but he didn't really understand that. He was a book lizard, not a big person and didn't see how being one of them would be better than being himself.
