Ramblings and Musings and Wibblings

I think my objection to the word 'selfish' boils down to the projected selfishness and in some ways egotistical views of the people using it in these circumstances. (Which you have nicely encompassed in your bullet points there, though I'm sure there's other things we will disagree on. :))

Having said all this, I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest that some recently bereaved people are perhaps not entirely rational themselves...

I will never attack or berate someone for ranting and raving or just plain believing their loved one was selfish or stupid or any such thing. Hell, I spent plenty of hours screaming at my dad for dying when I know he hadn't planned on it all, so you may be able to imagine how angry I was with my friend.

I'm sorry that wasn't clear from my post. I'm talking about those who are/were not affected by anything like this and (in my experience at least) quite often have never lost someone, be it through illness, old age, accident or suicide. They're bandying words about and assigning motivations and rational thought processes to someone incapable (for whatever reason) of them.

I hope this makes sense...