My brain scares me
Aug. 19th, 2008 10:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sessifetI blame ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
troo for this. She mentioned slugs and how there were fewer of them and how they must have been eaten by the cockroaches. My brain was struck with an image of loincloth-wearing spear-carrying slug-hunting cockroaches. It would have been better had it been left at that. The suggestion 'Write a story about it?', however, woke up the muse sitting on my shoulder. Instead of it going 'Er...no,' it basically went 'Cool!' and has been pestering me ever since. I mean, it wasn't enough that I've a seven foot tall blue fuzzy alien with a kitten called Eugene living in my head. Now I've got to write about tribal cockroaches?
So here it is. A bit of world building for what may or may not turn out to be a series of snippets in the life of:
Tribal cockroaches
Icky cockroaches are hunter-gatherers. They primarily hunt the slow yet cunning slug. Their spears are made from carefully crafter wood splinters, but those tribes living closer to human populations have recently started to tip their spears with scavenged metal needles and pins1. They wear loincloths made out of slug leather. The process of turning the hides gathered from a herd of slugs into wearable objects is ancient and time consuming. It is of course left to the females of the tribe, as the males are too busy freaking out random passersby. Very little else is known about the Icky tribes, mostly because those who wish to study their habits get freaked out soon and run away gibbering.
Compared to the ferocious Ickies, the Hissers are seemingly harmless and peaceful. They are mostly farmers. The adults carry out hard manua...appendal labour to feed themselves and their families. In the warmer regions, Hisser tribes have learnt the secret of cultivating oranges.
The Hissers have also learnt millipedes husbandry. These creatures are used as mainly as beasts of burden and transport over long distances. However, the most valuable aspect of the millipedes is their toxin, which is used both to tip the Hissers' spears and arrows, and, after processing, as a component in their ceremonies. There is debate over which animal discovered the hallucinogenic effect of millipede toxin2.
The elders of the tribe (both male and female) will gather in a small bark hut. The eldest Hisser present throws the prepared toxin on the fire and all inhale the smoke. Large amounts will kill the Hissers, but in small doses, the smoke will trigger a hallucinatory episode, during which the elders commune with their ancestors. Whereas Ickies have lost most of their glorious past and are barely more than barbarians (albeit successful barbarians), the Hissers still remember the days when they were of greater stature.
Urban cockroaches have, in contrast, completely abandoned the past and are looking forward to the future. They prefer living in and around human dwellings. Teenage urban cockroaches have made a habit of standing around motionless in dark kitchens, waiting for the next human to come in and turn on the light. As soon as the light is switched on, all of the youngsters scamper and skitter towards the nearest dark spaces. Bonus points are awarded to those brave enough to run over the (preferably bare) feet and legs of the human before making their way to safety.
Older urban cockroaches chitter4 indulgently at boasts of blood curdling screeches caused by their offspring.
Urban cockroaches have taken over some human habits, most notably their fairytales and fancy stories. The small cockroaches that we humans find so hard to kill are actually thought to be pixie cockroaches and they fulfil cockroach wishes. They or may not wear little green coats.
1 Urban cockroaches are currently working on turning knitting needles into siege weapons. God only knows what they'll do with them if they're successful.
2 Human scholars will say that is was the lemur. Hisser scholars point out that human scholars are necessarily biased in favour of the lemurs, as they are fellow mammals3. Hissers, however, know the truth. The first Hisser to discover the effects of the millipede toxin is sadly nameless but is widely honoured.
3 Lemur scholars are curiously silent on this matter. Probably because they're all chasing the millipede and giggling at the pretty light patterns.
4 Look, have you ever seen a cockroach's mouth parts? Scary enough in normal circumstances, let alone when they're smiling. Cockroaches have learnt long ago that smiling at anything will cause it to keel over and die of fright. This is not good for the long term survival of any species. The only reason it never became a valid evolutionary strategy is because a) most things they'd be smiling at would have been bigger and wouldn't have been able to see it properly and b) any species will be hard pressed to survive if mum keels over when baby smiles at her for the first time.
troo for this. She mentioned slugs and how there were fewer of them and how they must have been eaten by the cockroaches. My brain was struck with an image of loincloth-wearing spear-carrying slug-hunting cockroaches. It would have been better had it been left at that. The suggestion 'Write a story about it?', however, woke up the muse sitting on my shoulder. Instead of it going 'Er...no,' it basically went 'Cool!' and has been pestering me ever since. I mean, it wasn't enough that I've a seven foot tall blue fuzzy alien with a kitten called Eugene living in my head. Now I've got to write about tribal cockroaches?So here it is. A bit of world building for what may or may not turn out to be a series of snippets in the life of:
Tribal cockroaches
Icky cockroaches are hunter-gatherers. They primarily hunt the slow yet cunning slug. Their spears are made from carefully crafter wood splinters, but those tribes living closer to human populations have recently started to tip their spears with scavenged metal needles and pins1. They wear loincloths made out of slug leather. The process of turning the hides gathered from a herd of slugs into wearable objects is ancient and time consuming. It is of course left to the females of the tribe, as the males are too busy freaking out random passersby. Very little else is known about the Icky tribes, mostly because those who wish to study their habits get freaked out soon and run away gibbering.
Compared to the ferocious Ickies, the Hissers are seemingly harmless and peaceful. They are mostly farmers. The adults carry out hard manua...appendal labour to feed themselves and their families. In the warmer regions, Hisser tribes have learnt the secret of cultivating oranges.
The Hissers have also learnt millipedes husbandry. These creatures are used as mainly as beasts of burden and transport over long distances. However, the most valuable aspect of the millipedes is their toxin, which is used both to tip the Hissers' spears and arrows, and, after processing, as a component in their ceremonies. There is debate over which animal discovered the hallucinogenic effect of millipede toxin2.
The elders of the tribe (both male and female) will gather in a small bark hut. The eldest Hisser present throws the prepared toxin on the fire and all inhale the smoke. Large amounts will kill the Hissers, but in small doses, the smoke will trigger a hallucinatory episode, during which the elders commune with their ancestors. Whereas Ickies have lost most of their glorious past and are barely more than barbarians (albeit successful barbarians), the Hissers still remember the days when they were of greater stature.
Urban cockroaches have, in contrast, completely abandoned the past and are looking forward to the future. They prefer living in and around human dwellings. Teenage urban cockroaches have made a habit of standing around motionless in dark kitchens, waiting for the next human to come in and turn on the light. As soon as the light is switched on, all of the youngsters scamper and skitter towards the nearest dark spaces. Bonus points are awarded to those brave enough to run over the (preferably bare) feet and legs of the human before making their way to safety.
Older urban cockroaches chitter4 indulgently at boasts of blood curdling screeches caused by their offspring.
Urban cockroaches have taken over some human habits, most notably their fairytales and fancy stories. The small cockroaches that we humans find so hard to kill are actually thought to be pixie cockroaches and they fulfil cockroach wishes. They or may not wear little green coats.
1 Urban cockroaches are currently working on turning knitting needles into siege weapons. God only knows what they'll do with them if they're successful.
2 Human scholars will say that is was the lemur. Hisser scholars point out that human scholars are necessarily biased in favour of the lemurs, as they are fellow mammals3. Hissers, however, know the truth. The first Hisser to discover the effects of the millipede toxin is sadly nameless but is widely honoured.
3 Lemur scholars are curiously silent on this matter. Probably because they're all chasing the millipede and giggling at the pretty light patterns.
4 Look, have you ever seen a cockroach's mouth parts? Scary enough in normal circumstances, let alone when they're smiling. Cockroaches have learnt long ago that smiling at anything will cause it to keel over and die of fright. This is not good for the long term survival of any species. The only reason it never became a valid evolutionary strategy is because a) most things they'd be smiling at would have been bigger and wouldn't have been able to see it properly and b) any species will be hard pressed to survive if mum keels over when baby smiles at her for the first time.
