Verse #19472. Same as previous verses
Dec. 29th, 2011 12:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sessifetMy current role is likely to end in a few weeks due to the end of the technical trial I'm working on. So I'm looking for a new job. This is depressing and annoying enough, but it doesn't help to find out my application for the interesting support role was never received due to system issues. The HR person was very apologetic about it and at least I know they didn't laugh my application out of the room as soon as it came in, but the role's already been filled. As one would imagine, this does not put one in a state of mind conducive to messing around with one's CV and applying for jobs.
And now my own personal brainweasel has slunk back into view, gleefully rubbing its paws together. It's been absent for some time, lurking in the shadows and waiting for just such an opportunity. Now it's back and it can once again get down to the business of making me really damned depressed. I know how this one goes. Sing along if you know the words, people:
Oh gods, I won't ever get a job again. No-one will want me. I only ever get work because I'm lucky, not because I deserve it or because I'm the best person for the job. I will never be happy with anything I do get, because I'm picky and horrible and won't sit down and shut up. People don't like me. Everyone just humours me. I won't ever pay off my student loans and I'm going to have to go live in a box and eat worms. I'm a fraud! No-one loves me.
Unfortunately, knowing the tune by heart doesn't make it go away. Knowing that it's a combination of hormones, tiredness and disappointment doesn't help either, because I'm still the brain and the brain is me (no matter how much I separate the two for narrative amusement) and there really isn't anything I can do except endure.
And make whiny LJ posts.
Fuck it, I'm going to read porn.
And now my own personal brainweasel has slunk back into view, gleefully rubbing its paws together. It's been absent for some time, lurking in the shadows and waiting for just such an opportunity. Now it's back and it can once again get down to the business of making me really damned depressed. I know how this one goes. Sing along if you know the words, people:
Oh gods, I won't ever get a job again. No-one will want me. I only ever get work because I'm lucky, not because I deserve it or because I'm the best person for the job. I will never be happy with anything I do get, because I'm picky and horrible and won't sit down and shut up. People don't like me. Everyone just humours me. I won't ever pay off my student loans and I'm going to have to go live in a box and eat worms. I'm a fraud! No-one loves me.
Unfortunately, knowing the tune by heart doesn't make it go away. Knowing that it's a combination of hormones, tiredness and disappointment doesn't help either, because I'm still the brain and the brain is me (no matter how much I separate the two for narrative amusement) and there really isn't anything I can do except endure.
And make whiny LJ posts.
Fuck it, I'm going to read porn.
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no subject
Date: 2011-12-29 02:25 pm (UTC)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQMVHhxTtLc
no subject
Date: 2011-12-29 03:23 pm (UTC)I get this, only with 'get off benefits at fucking last' instead of 'pay off student loans'.
And make whiny LJ posts.
It's not whiny. You're entitled to say so when you feel fed up! I hope the porn helps *g*
no subject
Date: 2011-12-29 06:34 pm (UTC)You will get a job. You're awesome and you know stuff and you're personable. It's not easy in this climate - took Azekeil a while, and it took me 6-12 months depending on how you count it. They are out there. {hugs}
no subject
Date: 2011-12-29 10:01 pm (UTC)FWIW, I like you, and unless you interview spectacularly badly (which I doubt) I would probably give you a job if I were a recruiter ;-)
no subject
Date: 2011-12-29 10:03 pm (UTC)