sessifet | Oh dear

For reasons touched upon in my last post, my nesting urge has been mostly dormant in the past year. Now, however, it has kicked in with a vengeance.

Quitting my old job and moving down here without anything to fall back on (except savings and the willingness of

azekeil to carry most of the load if and when necessary) was less scary than one would imagine, but then again, I moved countries without anything on the other side except two very good friends willing to make room for me in their home.

No, what was scary was that I was going to move in with a partner and into a house that had been his home for some years and that really didn't work out so well the last time I did it. And despite

azekeil proving time and again that he's a superior specimen to my ex, part of me has been holding my breath and waiting for the inevitable moment of being told I don't contribute enough, or contribute in the wrong way or don't measure up in general.

That hasn't completely gone away, because it could still turn out that Noo Job and I are not a good fit at all, but it has been mostly dispelled. Unfortunately, because all the things I needed and wanted to do after I moved in didn't happen due to my lack of funds, I've rather lost sight of how I'm supposed to fit here and that's what's kicked the nesting urge up a few notches.

Even if I don't quite know how I fit here^* yet, I can at least start with I am the person that lives here and take it from there. Which involves looking at IKEA (all the stuff I want from there cannot be ordered online...curses!), Argos (I do like the wood and canvas wardrobes they sell), lusting over different colours of paint (I am totally going to paint the door panels in interesting colours) and allposters.co.uk.

I'm sure someone can tell me why a shot of two Waved Albatrosses snuggling is not exactly an art-y choice, but to you I say 'pleh!'. If I want two albatrosses snuggling, I shall have to albatrosses snuggling! Also albatrosses no longer looks like a word now.

^*Here not just indicating this house, but also this town and this area of the country.