Attention ancient fart in the new mini:

[sessifet]

Here's a few little hints you might want to rethink driving that car:

- You have two walking sticks on the passenger seat.

- Pedestrians flatten themselves against the nearest wall or fling themselves behind the nearest tree as you hurtle past at approximately light speed, leaving clouds of noxious fumes.

- You are using your teeth to grip the steering wheel as you shift gear.

- You're not using your original teeth to grip the steering wheel, or

- You're not using any teeth to grip the steering wheel but are merely gumming it.

- You can't see without those inch thick glasses.

- You can't see a hell of a lot more with those inch thick glasses.

- You are wearing a cap that is wider than your ears and longer than your nose.

In short:

- If bloody Methuselah himself would fucking call you gramps and offer you his seat on the bloody train, you're damned well not supposed to be fucking driving, you maniac.

No love,

Me

*twitch*

Comments

[alicephilippa.livejournal.com]

"…You are using your teeth to grip the steering wheel as you shift gear…"

*boggle*

I've seen some strange things but never that.

[sessifet25.livejournal.com]

I'm sure he didn't, but it did look like it from my vantage point halfway up the wall.

[da-pol.livejournal.com]

Never seen the Morris Minor with the Barbour Jacket wearing Flat Capped nonogenarian behind the wheel where you can see the white knuckles even through the driving gloves and can only just see his nose and eyes between the steering wheel and cap brim?

They're not driving Mog Thou's any more - they're on to Mini Ones.

Still tend to have the thing on the back seat wearing a tea cosy and tartan rug whilst doing all the actual driving - Sessifet seems to have found one which lost the teacosy :)