I don't like nicknames.

[sessifet]

In fact, I loathe, detest and generally blow raspberries at nicknames. Not those applied to other people by other people (though I do occasionally wonder about the sanity of all concerned), but those applied to me. I will not give someone else a nickname and anyone who has the bright idea to give me one will be met with an 'we are not amused' response.

Pet names are fine. Being called 'my love', 'dearest', 'sweetie' and the various permutations^* by my beloveds makes me feel all fuzzy and warm. My sister can call me 'ukkie' and bring a smile to my face, just as me calling her 'lange Jan' brings one to hers. I cherish being a grasshopper, because it is a joke between me and the Wise One.

My online name is Sessifet. This is a name I chose when I joined online Pratchett fandom. There wasn't a huge amount of deliberation there (Aniger, Goddess of Squashed Animals was too long for the irc channel I hang out on), but it seems to fit and I am happy with it. It has, in many ways, become part of my identity as much as my first, second and third 'real' names. I also respond to Sessi, Sess and 'ifet (the last one mostly in text), though this is context-specific. Some of my friends call me Sess even though they know my real life name and use it regularly. This sometimes causes a short 'bwuzuh?' moment. Occasionally they choose to use my online name because there is someone around whose name sounds like a lot like mine and the repeated duets of 'yeeees?' coming from varying locations gets confusing for everyone involved. Sometimes they call me that because, even though they know my real name and I would not mind them using it, they've only ever seen me as Sessifet and...well, that's just my name to them.

Now, the first category are petnames and different rules apply. To me it implies a certain comfort level and a certain type of relationship before one of those would fit. Very few of my friends are allowed to give me a petname and of those, most of them haven't bothered or it just never happened.

The second category is a name I chose later in life and all variants I accept are dimunitives of that name. Oh, you may see an occasional SessiFret on channel, but guess what? That's my choice to have my nick reflect what I am doing at that point in time.

My real name is Karen. A name given to me by my parents for various reasons (no, they were not fans of The Carpenters). They didn't see fit to call me Kazza or Kaz or Kaka or any of those stupid dimunitive forms. So it is just Karen. No play on words in sight, so don't bother stretching for one. Just Karen. You are welcome to call me this if you know me in real life (or well enough online). It is entirely up to you. But do not make it into a nickname, do not shorten or change it. Definitely no making it a part of an alliterative goddamned cantrip unless you have an overwhelming desire to see what your digestive system looks like from the outside.

And for the sake of all that is holy, good and pure in this world (and if you value your own physical integrity), do not, under any circumstances, make up a nickname with my last name. Do not even make a joke about it. No alliteration either. My last name is mine to play with, not yours. And anyone who makes the really not funny 'family of Harold, then?' joke is going to find one of my stompy boots shoved so far up their arse they'll be tasting rubber for a week.

My name, my rules.

Of course I realise that, if you were sufficiently determined, there is nothing I can physically do to stop you from ignoring everything I have just said and giving me a nickname anyway.

Feel free.

Just be aware that, just as I can't stop you from doing whatever you want with my name, there is nothing you can then do to stop me from coming to your house in the middle of the night and widdling on your cat.<sup>**

*</sup>I can hear you gagging in the back row there. Stop it.

^**Unless you don't have a cat, in which case I'm just going to have to get creative in my widdling.

Comments

[spooforbrains.livejournal.com]

LOL!

I have at least one IRL friend who called me "spoo!" even though now I've known him much longer in the real world (tm) than I did via IRC.

Also, there is always SOMEONE who ends up calling me Wolfie. I don't know WHY this happens. It's odd. But there's always someone. And I quite like it :)

Oh, also, where does Sessifet come from? I'm sure I should know this, but I don't.

[sessifet25.livejournal.com]

Sessifet is the Goddess of the Afternoon and appears in Pyramids for the first time and she appears in the game Discworld Noir.

Oh, she also make an appearance in The Last Hero, where she is the naked blue lady in the illustrations and, incidentally, where my journalfen nick comes from: bluenakedlady..

[dragon-prince.livejournal.com]

This is why I like my given name. you can't realy shorten it well you can you drop off a t at the end but it stillpronounces exactly the same way.

[martinoh.livejournal.com]

I don't possess a cat myself, but one belonging to my neighbours spends a fair amount of time in my garden. Would that constitute a suitable target?

Nicknames

[hippo22.livejournal.com]

My paents always told me thay picked "Mark" because it couldn't be molded into an easy nickname.

This didn't stop them , regularly calling me "Marcus" at home, which was a little irritating :-)

[ciciaye.livejournal.com]

Being called 'Lise' (pronounced 'Leese', ie Lisa without the 'a') by people I hardly know, gets on my nerves. My name has a 'a' on the end, dammit! My Mum and Dad have never shortened my name, and neither has my sister or any of my friends. But some of my aunts and uncles call me 'Lise' all the time, and it's really annoying!

People calling me CCA in real life is fine, if they feel they don't know me well enough to call me Lisa.

Only one friend has an actual nickname for me. No-one else knows it, and anyone finding it out and using it would be likely to get Looked At Hard.

In your case, I'd call you Sessifet online, and Karen in real life (but only if you didn't mind).

[sessifet25.livejournal.com]

Only one friend has an actual nickname for me. No-one else knows it[...]

I class those as petnames. I don't mind others knowing about them, but they can't use them.

You are more than welcome to call me either Sessifet (or various permutations thereof) or Karen, Really, whichever feels right for the other party.

I'd be surprised if the beloveds called me Sess while we were alone, but less so than if we were at...say, the Con. Referring to me as Sess when we're together but both online also falls in that category.

[randeknight.livejournal.com]

I'll generally answer to anything so long as it's not intended to be insulting.
So when kids at high school called me 'Ching' to get my attention, I didn't really care. But when they said 'Ching'* to rhyme with 'Ching Chong Chinaman', it grated a bit.
*Now that I'm older and don't have a tan, most people don't realise I'm part chinese.

Admittedly, coming from downunder, we're a bit looser with words, and calling someone Bastard, Arsehole, MFucker, ShitForBrains etc might be an insult or a term of endearment depending on how close your relationship is.

[sessifet25.livejournal.com]

Admittedly, coming from downunder, we're a bit looser with words, and calling someone Bastard, Arsehole, MFucker, ShitForBrains etc might be an insult or a term of endearment depending on how close your relationship is.

I think that comes close to the realm of social acceptance of 'pet', 'love', 'duck' or 'hen' in various parts of the UK when speaking to strangers. In a social setting (either a broad one or a more personal one), there will be acceptable names to use. The social dynamic determines what that is, I suppose.

[pteppic.livejournal.com]

I don't think anyone calls me pteppic to my face.
There's no point.

Kian is unusual enough (which is why I changed my IRC nick over a few years ago). Everyone knows me as Kian, Kian is my identity. Hell, in most social circles, it's unique enough that people know me by first name alone - which is both useful and sometimes quite creepy.

I'm not sure I could call you "Karen", since I've only ever known you as Sessifet or Sessi. The mental image of you is burned against that name - in the same way that Aq will forever be Aquarion and never Nicholas to my mind.

[sessifet25.livejournal.com]

*nods*

It's interesting to see how people identify you. I have no problems with people calling me by my online name even if they know my birth name. Because to you, Sessifet or Sessi is my real name and Karen is...well...not.

[ciciaye.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I could call you "Karen", since I've only ever known you as Sessifet or Sessi. The mental image of you is burned against that name - in the same way that Aq will forever be Aquarion and never Nicholas to my mind

That's summed up the way I feel about a few afpers and their nicknames or online names. For instance, I wouldn't call random_c or Supermouse by their first names, either online or in real life. I'd call esmeraldus_neo by her first name in person, but never online. That goes for donbert too - I've called him by his real name for years, since we first became friends, but he's always Steelcat online.

[sbp.livejournal.com]

Yeah, my parents called me Sean partly because you can't shorten it or do much with it. Then they had Samantha...

But you can't stop kids - at school they would make names from my surname, or just anything.

My closest friends/GF might occasionally call me something derived from Shaun the Sheep, but that's about it these days.

(But that's not counting my superhero alterego, but I'm not allowed to tell you about that)

[sessifet25.livejournal.com]

But you can't stop kids - at school they would make names from my surname, or just anything.

Yeah. Kids can always find something to make a joke about with your name. Even if it means making up one for you. I will be honest and say that a huge part of my aversion to nicknames comes from that. I'm sure some would say i need to let it go and lighten up, but I refuse to.

My name, my identity and I am the only one allowed to change this. :)

[swaldman.livejournal.com]

Hence I normally ask before shortening somebody's name. "Do you mind being called Ash, or do you prefer Ashleigh?". I don't think anybody has ever objected to being asked.

I think that names are a very personal thing, and I deliberately (nearly) never ask somebody why they chose a name that they have chosen. It is not my business to ask why; it is my business, having been told somebody's chosen name, to respect that choice and use it.

[swaldman.livejournal.com]

er, there's a wild "hence" floating about there, left from some editing. Please trap it and return to me. Thank you.

[sessifet25.livejournal.com]

Huh. That doesn't look like a rogue 'hence'. Perfectly valid use there, as far as I can see (yes, I did scan your comment five times to make sure I did not actually miss a second 'hence' lurking behind a comma somewhere ;).

I try to ask before using someone's online name or real name if I know both. Same goes for any permutations. It's only common decency, you know?

[swaldman.livejournal.com]

Ah, ISWYM. It is valid where it is, but is unnecessary. There was originally an explanation of why I ask before what is now the start of the comment ;-)

[hobnobs.livejournal.com]

Ah, the bane of nicknames ending in "(az|azza)". People using those particular variants of my name get a polite comment that I don't like people calling me that, and ignored completely if they use it ever again. (At least, until they use my proper name.)