Fetish Meme
Dec. 22nd, 2010 03:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sessifetThis has been floating around on my 'to fill in list' for aaaages and considering I am bored right now and my sleeping patterns are shut to fucking buggery anyway I might as well.
24/7 (Total Power Exchange)? -- I have a hard time imagining how this would work in my case. Actually, that is a lie. I can imagine it. I can imagine it being suggested and my response being 'okay...but only if, afterwards, I am then allow to knee to you in the groin every hour for 24 hours'. So that's a no. (Gods help me if I ever encounter someone who goes 'Yay! Let's do this thing!' I'd be somewhat flummoxed.)
Abasiophilia (Casts, Braces, Wheelchairs)? -- I have trouble imagining this as a fetish. While I know plenty of attractive and wonderful people who need wheelchairs, canes or external joints to get about, my brain just shudders away from the idea of sexualising them or their 'props'. It'd be like sexualising the fact that they need tea or coffee to get up in the morning, you know? While I find them attractive, the fact that they're using these things is not the main reason. Or even A Reason. It's just...part of who they are in my mental brainscape. Just as my cane is a part of who I am, even if I don't carry it all the time. So...no. No on the fetishising of essential bits of external kit to be able live your life, thank you.
Age Play? -- While I may be considered to have trouble acting my true chronological age, I really have no desire to pretend to be either older or younger than I truly am, especially in a sexual way. And if any future or current partner of mine wishes me to be 'daddy/mummy's little girl', let me just state this: Oh hell, no!
Adult Baby/AB Parent? -- I'd be a bad AB Parent. 'You're an adult, you can clean your own damned diaper.' I'd be a bad adult baby because...well, I hate wearing even panty-liners when I'm on my period. A diaper would make me feel so uncomfortable as to not be believed. They'd have to invent a new word for it. So that's a no on both accounts.
Algolagnia (Pleasure derived from physical pain)? -- Pain can increase pleasure and I'm not averse to pain as part of consensual sex, so in that respect: bring it on! If the goal is to inflict pain on me just so's you can get your rocks off with no regard for my pleasure, allow me to give you detailed instructions on how to find the door.
Amputee Fetishism (Amputation/Deformity)? -- Moving swiftly onwards...
Anal Sex? -- When done right and both parties are in the same frame of mind: hell yes. When done not right: Owowow, closely followed by 'what the fuck do you think you're doing?!'
Andromimetophilia (Androgeny)? -- I'd probably end up going 'ooooh...ooh...oh! Er...wasn't expecting that there. Heh. Erm...what'd I do now?', which never helps with the mood.
Arse (Ass Play, Worship)? -- Worship? What? How would that work? I have difficulty determining what form a prayer to arse would take...
Asphyxiaphilia (Breath Play, Choking)? -- Only in a very, very mild form and only in the right circumstances and the right frame of mind. It requires a hell of a lot of trust and believe me, you need to tell me you'd like to even pretend-choke me before you do it. If you don't, I am not going to be held responsible for the shape of your nose afterwards.
Balloons? -- Wait, what?
Bestiality/Zoophilia? -- When it comes to the giving end: Noooo. Just...no. Leave the poor creatures alone. If, on the other hand you fancy being shagged by a dolphin and want to put yourself in that position, good luck and godspeed to you. I do not want to hear about the results, though.
Beating (Flogs, Whips, Canes, etc.)? -- Ooooh. I am intrigued by this newsletter and wish to etc. etc.
Biastophilia (Committing Rape/Sexual Assault)? -- If we're talking fantasy rape play and both partners involved consent to it and enjoy it, knock yourself out. Otherwise, I'm going to find a couple of friends to sit on you while I go and find the nearest phone to call the police.
Biting/Teeth? -- Mmm. Biting. Mmm. Teeth.
Blood (Drawing Blood, Cutting, etc.)? -- Ack! Too much teeth! (Look, it happens. You get carried away and you bite someone's lip a bit too enthusiastically or your nails draw blood in the heat of the moment. It's all good. But deliberately drawing blood by any means so you can get off? No. For one: have you any idea how hard it is to get blood out of sheets? Hmm? Thought not.)
Body Hair? -- As long as I can feel my partner's skin without having to dig through an inch of fur, I'm happy. Now, long hair or beards? Oh good gods, yes. *dribble* ... What was I doing again? Right!
Body Modification (Tattoos, Branding, Piercings, Scarification, etc.)? -- I appreciate body modification in many forms. Might not want to be around when it gets done (especially scarification and branding) but I will go 'oooh' over the results. Especially when they're healed and I can touch the result. Just a handy hint for people: if we're involved, by all means, please, please please feel free to admire and feel and trace my tattoos. They're part of me, after all.
Bondage (Blind folds, Gags, Restraints)? -- Bring it on! (Just, you know, warn me beforehand.)
Breast/Nipple Torture, Clamps, etc.? -- *wince* Ouchie. Not on the receiving end and on the giving end I'd be too worried to hurt or inconvenience someone, which kind of defeats the purpose.
Chastity Devices? -- Look, I'm currently in a committed long distance relationship with a variable...ah...schedule. I don't need or want one of these buggers. Furthermore, any partner who wants to restrict my own private fun time with my bits given to me by Mother Nature Herself can just fuck right off. My bits, my decision.
Chinese Balls/Ben Wa Balls/Anal Beads? -- It's...never come up? The idea of it is not abhorrent, but I do worry about the practical implications. I mean...how many? How long? Am I supposed to go out in public with these? Do they vibrate? What if I need the bathroom?
Cling Film/Plastic Wrap? -- Considering I do not get happy happy joy feelings in my private bits when I wrap up my left-overs in clingfilm, I'm going for a no.
Cock and Ball Torture, Clamps, etc.? -- See above. I'd be too scared to hurt someone. 'Oh Jesus, I caught some skin! I'm sorry! Bugger, I can't get it unscrewed...where's my pliers? D'you need me to call a doctor?' Sort of breaks the mood, don't you think?
Collar and Lead/Leash? -- There's two options here. A) I'm the one wearing the collar with the incredibly resigned expression or B) I'm the one carrying the leash with the 'oh gods, I'm not here. This wasn't my idea!' expression.
Confinement/Caging? -- No, thank you.
Coprophilia (Shit Play/Scat)? -- ...okay, that's just nasty and unhygienic.
Costumes (Period, Fetish, etc.)? -- I may have an image of Best Beloved with a kilt and claymore. Or possibly a LARP costume with longbow. I'm just saying...*hums innocently*
Cross Dressing? -- Yes. Just...yes. Going either way.
Cupping (Suction of the Skin)? -- *blinks* That's a fetish?
Dacryphilia (Arousal from Tears)? -- Now you're just scraping the barrel.
Defilement (Seeing a partner dirty or wet)? -- Nnnnn. Attractive person covered in engine grease. Attractive person soaking wet. Er...heh. I'll...er...I'll just be over there for a bit, okay?
Denim? -- Very handy. Very sturdy. Awesome for when you're doing DIY. Hmmm. Best Beloved doing DIY in denim. Best Beloved getting all sweaty and dusty. Preferably with no top on. Mmmm. Oh, damnit, I just changed these pants!
Depilation/Shaving? -- While I appreciate clean-shaven from a practical and hygienic point of view, there's no need to go for 'prepubescent'. Also, ingrown hairs and razor burn, yowtch. Just saying.
Diapers/Diaper Lover? -- Not touching that one...
Dildos (Hand-held & Strap-ons)? -- Words cannot describe my lecherous facial expression at this specific moment.
Discipline? -- No, thank you. No, seriously. We're not playing mummy or daddy's naughty boy or girl. We're not playing naughty and nice. We're not bringing authority figures into my happy happy fun times. We're not spanking me because I'm a bad, bad girl. I'm not spanking you because you're a bad, bad boy/girl. We're just not, okay? Don't. Even. Think. About. It.
Doctor/Nurse Fetish? -- Eh. Never seen the appeal. Plus, I'd feel silly in a white coat and stethoscope.
Domination? -- Hee. Yes, please.
Ears? -- When done properly, oh gods above and below, yes. When done incorrectly, I am going to go 'gnyargh' and flinch.
Electrotorture (EMS TENS units)? -- What. The. Hell. Do. You. Think. You. Are. Doing?!
Emetophilia (Vomit, Regurgitation)? -- ... This is me backing away very, very quickly.
Erotic Photography? -- Fun! (with a decent camera and someone who knows what they're doing and...well, you know what I mean.)
Exhibitionism/Sex In Public? -- No, thank you. Sex outdoors, yes. Sex in my own backyard, yes. Sex where people can catch me? Nooooo. Done that once by accident and I don't think I will ever forget my dad's expression when the nice police officers handed me over and explained how they'd found me.
Feathers? -- If you make sure not to tickle me, sure.
Pyrophilia (Fire Play)? -- ... That way lies an incredible world of pain. And lengthy explanations to the fire department and insurance company, especially with my track record. Also, there's every chance I'd get distracted and go 'prettttty flaaaaaaames' and forget all about what we're supposed to be doing. Which, once again, breaks the mood.
Fisting? -- I'm scared now..
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Food Play? -- Okay. Are we talking strategic use of whipped cream and maple syrup here or complete Christmas dinner with ice cream to follow? Because I can do the former (as long as I can take a shower really damned quickly afterwards). If you're carrying a full hog roast into the bedroom, however, I'm going to be asking some serious questions. Just as a hint, I''ll not be likely to ask you 'is that a hog in your pocket or are you happy to see me?', nor will I feel the overwhelming urge to tell you to 'come here, you mighty hunter and fuck me silly'. Best case scenario, I'm going to ask you where the coleslaw is.
Fuck Machines/Robots? -- Wouldn't that be cold and, well, edgy?
Furry/Fur Fetishism? -- I admire well-made fursuits. There are furs out there that make me go 'hee!. There are furs out there that I have more than half a crush on. I can see the appeal and I would not object to dating one, but overall it does not really float my boat. Except possibly texture-wise. Mmmm. Textuuuuure.
Gangbangs? -- I can see that one go wrong in so many painful and dramatic ways.
Genital Worship? -- How would that work? Are we talking a small shrine to my clitoris here? Daily prayers towards the vestibular bulbs? Prostrations before the might of the labia majora? What? I'm just not sure what to think of this one.
Guns (Gun Play, Worship)? -- Meep? Mummy?
Hair Pulling? -- In moderation. Leave it on my head is the level I am aiming for here. I will endeavour to do the same. If you ask me to do otherwise I probably would try, but I'd likely be unsuccessfully fighting the urge to apologise as I'm ripping clumps of hair out of your scalp. As mentioned before: moodbreaker.
Harnesses? -- I've not come across them. I have no opinion.
High Heels/Stilettos? -- Stilettos make my hip squeak in protest, but high heeled stompy boots? Good gods, yes. Especially knee highs. I like how they feel and how they look and and and. Also, I apparently don't look half bad in them myself.
Humiliation? -- No. Don't. Even. Try. It.
Infantilism (Pacifiers/Bottles, etc.)? -- Dude, there's a reason I don't want children, you know...
Kidnapping Play? -- It's...never come up?
Klismaphilia (Douching/Enema)? -- Nooooooooo.
Knives (Razors, Swords, other blades)? -- Gnnn. Swords. Mmmm. Knives. Mmmm. Preeeetty. I'd be worried if they were introduced into a bedroom scenario, though. 'Oh gods, I'm sorry! Bugger, we only painted that wall last week!'
Lace/Lingerie? -- I like it, but not as a fetish. I'm willing to accommodate, though.
Latex? -- I don't see the appeal myself, but I am willing to accommodate someone else.
Leather? -- Hell, yes. The smell, the texture. Old worn leather. New supple leather. Raw leather. The smell of a cured lamb or calf skin. Mmmmm. Which reminds me, I need to get BPAL's De Sade on the Best Beloved (as if I really need another reason to jump him).
Making Home "Movies"? -- With the existence of Youtube? Bad idea.
Masks (Erotic/Gas Masks, etc.)? -- I can't see this working. I like interacting with someone. Kissing, touching, seeing them. Masks would get in the way.
Masochism? -- It's never come up.
Massage? -- Like I am going to turn down either giving or receiving a massage!
Master/Slave? -- Even if someone were able to convince me, I still worry that I'd be giggling too much in either role for it to be effective.
Masturbation (Mutual or Forced)? -- Fun! Except for the forced bit. That one's ambivalent.
Medical Scenes/Equipment? -- I don't have a trauma or anything, but believe me when I say this: once you've had a 7' tall, completely hairless Dutch version of Patrick Stewart rootling around in your vagina for about 10 minutes muttering something roughly along the lines of 'where the hell is it? Damn, this isn't long enough. Hang on, I'm changing speculums. It has to be here somewh...ah! Found it! Oh bugger, it slipped. Sorry, I'll have to try again'* with regards to your cervix, any erotic daydreams about a dreamy doctor coming to your rescue goes flying right out the window, I can tell you.
Menstruation (Sex During, Eating, etc.)? -- If my partner is not squicked by me bleeding like a stuck pig and is willing to have sexy fun times with me: yay! If you actually get off on my bleeding like a stuck pig and have to shag like bunnies? I'm going to be worried because I'm not sure I want to deal with that all the time. I'm on my period. I am grumpy and feel bloated and horrible and also, hey, bleeding from my vagina which is never going to make me feel like the world's most desirable woman.
Murder Fetishism? -- I'm so creeped out right now I don't even have anything funny to say.
Military Fetish/Uniforms? -- I like a man or woman who looks good in uniform or smart dress. Yum. Not a fetish, though.
Milk Fetishism/Lactation? -- My eyebrows have now taken up residence midway up my forehead.
Necrophilia (Death, Corpses)? -- ... No, thank you. I have seen too many dead people in my life to even want to contemplate being merely associated with someone who finds corpses attractive in that particular way, let alone would want me to pretend to be one.
Nipples? -- Mind the teeth.
Oral Fixations? -- You mean like smoking or chewing gum or sucking sweets? I've no idea what this means, really.
Oral Sex? -- Yes, please.
Pain (Giving/Receiving)? -- In moderation and only if it flows from what's happening already. Setting out to do that and that alone and without mentioning? Bad idea. A) I hit back when I am hurt without warning. No, really. Without holding back. Which would lead to B) Erm...you okay? Oh dear...I think you'll need stitches for that. Let me get you a towel.'
Pet Play (Pony/Puppy/Kitty, etc)? -- Aaaand now my eyebrows have disappeared into my hairline.
Piercings? -- Yes, please!
Pinching? -- Sure! Just...there needs to be practice to establish a comfort level beforehand. Don't just go leaping in with 'I want to pinch!', because I am likely to flatten your nose across your face in reflex. Did I mention I do not deal well with unexpected inflicted pain?
Play Piercing/Needle Play? -- Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh. Alternatively: sure, you want to stab me with a needle, I get to stab you with this fork. In the testicles. Repeatedly. Deal?
Plushophilia (Stuffed animals, Plushies)? -- Oooookay. Eyebrows near top of head now.
Podophilia (Foot Fetish)? -- No...if only because the effort a foot fetishist would have to go through to be able to just stroke my feet without their nose getting flattened across their face would make me feel bad and a horrible partner. I think the most you're ever going to get on that front is cuddling. And even then I'd be lying there going 'gnnnnyerg'.
Power Exchange? -- Yesyesyes. Power play and power exchange can be fun with someone you trust and love. I never knew this!
Pregnancy Fetishism? -- Nope. Childfree and happy. Don't want a bump, be quite scared to be with someone who gets all hot and bothered about a bump.
Punishment? -- No, thank you. I'm not a child anymore. I don't ever deserve 'punishment' like that. We're not playing this game and I'm not going to go into this any further. If that's your thing: fuck off.
The Rack/Medieval Devices? -- I'd like to have one, to be sure. Not to use it (see the whole punishment thing before), but to have one. For artistic something. Thing is, where would I put one? I mean, it'd need a basement to get the whole 'feel' of it. Entirely impractical.
Raptophilia (Sexual arousal from being raped)? -- As with biastophilia up there: if it is a fantasy and between consenting adults, knock yourself out. Anything else, just...no.
Religious (Nunplay, Priestplay)? -- Nope. Do not even have any cultural background to make that one a valid option in my brain.
Retifism (Shoes or Boots)? -- Some of the boots out there make me go 'guh'. Some of the ones I wear make others go 'guh'. I can see this one without a telescope, is what I'm saying.
Rimming? -- I can take it or leave it as the mood strikes me.
Role Playing? -- It has never come up.
Rubber? -- Not my thing, but I suppose I'm willing to accommodate.
Sadism? -- This has not come up.
Scent? -- Oh yes. Definite part of texture and touch. Someone has to smell 'right'. Which reminds me once again, must test De Sade on Best Beloved. Raw leather scent + Best Beloved = Joy (hopefully!)
Sensory Deprivation? -- Blindfold, fine. Darkness, fine. No sound? Less fine. No touch? Not fine at all. Leads to flaily panicky unfun times. Do not try this at home.
Smoking Fetishism? -- No. Even being a smoker (I'm not ready to call myself an ex-smoker yet), I'm going 'no'.
Spanking/Paddling? -- Yay! (On an entirely intellectual level, having not yet tried this. As long as it is not in a discipline or punishment or humiliation kind of way.)
Statuephilia (Mannequins, Dolls, etc.)? -- Nope. If you want to shag something that doesn't move or interact with you, go hump a rock.
Stockings/Fishnets/Pantyhose? -- While not something that makes me go 'glee!' on its own, I am happy to oblige. Now, knee high stripy socks? I am all over those. Also fingerless gloves.
Talking Dirty/Verbal Humiliation/Abuse? -- Okay, but you had damned well better be nice about it. Dirty talk is entirely wonderful, but call me names or disrespect me and you're sleeping in the backyard. For a month.
Tickling? -- I suppose. If you're not particularly attached to the shape of your nose, that is.
Tongue Fetish? -- Tongues are good. They're useful and fun. I am unsure how to fetishise them, though.
Toys (Buttplugs, Vibrators, etc.)? -- The more toys the merrier! (Though you may have to put up with me studying the manual a bit before getting down to business. I do so dislike trips to A&E, you know?
Transvestism? -- Sure. As long as we both get to play.
Urolagnia (Water Sports/Urine)? -- Yyyyeah. No.
Violence/Physical Injury? -- Look, I am entirely too good at inflicting injury by accident (to either myself or others). I really do not want to open the door to deliberately having it done to me or doing it to others. I'd hate to have to go to A&E and say 'and then his spleen came out in my hand!'.
Voyeurism? -- I get incredibly uncomfortable watching especially passionate kissing (let alone sex scenes) on the TV or movie screen when there are other people about. I'm all kinds of down with casual half and full nudity, but if you're going to hump each other's legs or play a game of tonsil hockey, I'd just as soon you get a room.
Wrestling/Fighting? -- Sure! I love getting close and physical and sweaty, tired and worked up like that. That is where power play comes in for me. You can let someone win, or they can let you win, but you have to earn it. I like winning with wrestling or playfighting, but when I've given it my all, I like losing a whole lot more.
Zombies/Gore? -- You're serious?
*Considering I am doing TMI anyway: my reproductive bits are both retroverted (cervix) and retroflexed (uterus), meaning the entire lot is angled towards my spine rather than my bladder. Which apparently makes it a real bugger to locate and work with.
24/7 (Total Power Exchange)? -- I have a hard time imagining how this would work in my case. Actually, that is a lie. I can imagine it. I can imagine it being suggested and my response being 'okay...but only if, afterwards, I am then allow to knee to you in the groin every hour for 24 hours'. So that's a no. (Gods help me if I ever encounter someone who goes 'Yay! Let's do this thing!' I'd be somewhat flummoxed.)
Abasiophilia (Casts, Braces, Wheelchairs)? -- I have trouble imagining this as a fetish. While I know plenty of attractive and wonderful people who need wheelchairs, canes or external joints to get about, my brain just shudders away from the idea of sexualising them or their 'props'. It'd be like sexualising the fact that they need tea or coffee to get up in the morning, you know? While I find them attractive, the fact that they're using these things is not the main reason. Or even A Reason. It's just...part of who they are in my mental brainscape. Just as my cane is a part of who I am, even if I don't carry it all the time. So...no. No on the fetishising of essential bits of external kit to be able live your life, thank you.
Age Play? -- While I may be considered to have trouble acting my true chronological age, I really have no desire to pretend to be either older or younger than I truly am, especially in a sexual way. And if any future or current partner of mine wishes me to be 'daddy/mummy's little girl', let me just state this: Oh hell, no!
Adult Baby/AB Parent? -- I'd be a bad AB Parent. 'You're an adult, you can clean your own damned diaper.' I'd be a bad adult baby because...well, I hate wearing even panty-liners when I'm on my period. A diaper would make me feel so uncomfortable as to not be believed. They'd have to invent a new word for it. So that's a no on both accounts.
Algolagnia (Pleasure derived from physical pain)? -- Pain can increase pleasure and I'm not averse to pain as part of consensual sex, so in that respect: bring it on! If the goal is to inflict pain on me just so's you can get your rocks off with no regard for my pleasure, allow me to give you detailed instructions on how to find the door.
Amputee Fetishism (Amputation/Deformity)? -- Moving swiftly onwards...
Anal Sex? -- When done right and both parties are in the same frame of mind: hell yes. When done not right: Owowow, closely followed by 'what the fuck do you think you're doing?!'
Andromimetophilia (Androgeny)? -- I'd probably end up going 'ooooh...ooh...oh! Er...wasn't expecting that there. Heh. Erm...what'd I do now?', which never helps with the mood.
Arse (Ass Play, Worship)? -- Worship? What? How would that work? I have difficulty determining what form a prayer to arse would take...
Asphyxiaphilia (Breath Play, Choking)? -- Only in a very, very mild form and only in the right circumstances and the right frame of mind. It requires a hell of a lot of trust and believe me, you need to tell me you'd like to even pretend-choke me before you do it. If you don't, I am not going to be held responsible for the shape of your nose afterwards.
Balloons? -- Wait, what?
Bestiality/Zoophilia? -- When it comes to the giving end: Noooo. Just...no. Leave the poor creatures alone. If, on the other hand you fancy being shagged by a dolphin and want to put yourself in that position, good luck and godspeed to you. I do not want to hear about the results, though.
Beating (Flogs, Whips, Canes, etc.)? -- Ooooh. I am intrigued by this newsletter and wish to etc. etc.
Biastophilia (Committing Rape/Sexual Assault)? -- If we're talking fantasy rape play and both partners involved consent to it and enjoy it, knock yourself out. Otherwise, I'm going to find a couple of friends to sit on you while I go and find the nearest phone to call the police.
Biting/Teeth? -- Mmm. Biting. Mmm. Teeth.
Blood (Drawing Blood, Cutting, etc.)? -- Ack! Too much teeth! (Look, it happens. You get carried away and you bite someone's lip a bit too enthusiastically or your nails draw blood in the heat of the moment. It's all good. But deliberately drawing blood by any means so you can get off? No. For one: have you any idea how hard it is to get blood out of sheets? Hmm? Thought not.)
Body Hair? -- As long as I can feel my partner's skin without having to dig through an inch of fur, I'm happy. Now, long hair or beards? Oh good gods, yes. *dribble* ... What was I doing again? Right!
Body Modification (Tattoos, Branding, Piercings, Scarification, etc.)? -- I appreciate body modification in many forms. Might not want to be around when it gets done (especially scarification and branding) but I will go 'oooh' over the results. Especially when they're healed and I can touch the result. Just a handy hint for people: if we're involved, by all means, please, please please feel free to admire and feel and trace my tattoos. They're part of me, after all.
Bondage (Blind folds, Gags, Restraints)? -- Bring it on! (Just, you know, warn me beforehand.)
Breast/Nipple Torture, Clamps, etc.? -- *wince* Ouchie. Not on the receiving end and on the giving end I'd be too worried to hurt or inconvenience someone, which kind of defeats the purpose.
Chastity Devices? -- Look, I'm currently in a committed long distance relationship with a variable...ah...schedule. I don't need or want one of these buggers. Furthermore, any partner who wants to restrict my own private fun time with my bits given to me by Mother Nature Herself can just fuck right off. My bits, my decision.
Chinese Balls/Ben Wa Balls/Anal Beads? -- It's...never come up? The idea of it is not abhorrent, but I do worry about the practical implications. I mean...how many? How long? Am I supposed to go out in public with these? Do they vibrate? What if I need the bathroom?
Cling Film/Plastic Wrap? -- Considering I do not get happy happy joy feelings in my private bits when I wrap up my left-overs in clingfilm, I'm going for a no.
Cock and Ball Torture, Clamps, etc.? -- See above. I'd be too scared to hurt someone. 'Oh Jesus, I caught some skin! I'm sorry! Bugger, I can't get it unscrewed...where's my pliers? D'you need me to call a doctor?' Sort of breaks the mood, don't you think?
Collar and Lead/Leash? -- There's two options here. A) I'm the one wearing the collar with the incredibly resigned expression or B) I'm the one carrying the leash with the 'oh gods, I'm not here. This wasn't my idea!' expression.
Confinement/Caging? -- No, thank you.
Coprophilia (Shit Play/Scat)? -- ...okay, that's just nasty and unhygienic.
Costumes (Period, Fetish, etc.)? -- I may have an image of Best Beloved with a kilt and claymore. Or possibly a LARP costume with longbow. I'm just saying...*hums innocently*
Cross Dressing? -- Yes. Just...yes. Going either way.
Cupping (Suction of the Skin)? -- *blinks* That's a fetish?
Dacryphilia (Arousal from Tears)? -- Now you're just scraping the barrel.
Defilement (Seeing a partner dirty or wet)? -- Nnnnn. Attractive person covered in engine grease. Attractive person soaking wet. Er...heh. I'll...er...I'll just be over there for a bit, okay?
Denim? -- Very handy. Very sturdy. Awesome for when you're doing DIY. Hmmm. Best Beloved doing DIY in denim. Best Beloved getting all sweaty and dusty. Preferably with no top on. Mmmm. Oh, damnit, I just changed these pants!
Depilation/Shaving? -- While I appreciate clean-shaven from a practical and hygienic point of view, there's no need to go for 'prepubescent'. Also, ingrown hairs and razor burn, yowtch. Just saying.
Diapers/Diaper Lover? -- Not touching that one...
Dildos (Hand-held & Strap-ons)? -- Words cannot describe my lecherous facial expression at this specific moment.
Discipline? -- No, thank you. No, seriously. We're not playing mummy or daddy's naughty boy or girl. We're not playing naughty and nice. We're not bringing authority figures into my happy happy fun times. We're not spanking me because I'm a bad, bad girl. I'm not spanking you because you're a bad, bad boy/girl. We're just not, okay? Don't. Even. Think. About. It.
Doctor/Nurse Fetish? -- Eh. Never seen the appeal. Plus, I'd feel silly in a white coat and stethoscope.
Domination? -- Hee. Yes, please.
Ears? -- When done properly, oh gods above and below, yes. When done incorrectly, I am going to go 'gnyargh' and flinch.
Electrotorture (EMS TENS units)? -- What. The. Hell. Do. You. Think. You. Are. Doing?!
Emetophilia (Vomit, Regurgitation)? -- ... This is me backing away very, very quickly.
Erotic Photography? -- Fun! (with a decent camera and someone who knows what they're doing and...well, you know what I mean.)
Exhibitionism/Sex In Public? -- No, thank you. Sex outdoors, yes. Sex in my own backyard, yes. Sex where people can catch me? Nooooo. Done that once by accident and I don't think I will ever forget my dad's expression when the nice police officers handed me over and explained how they'd found me.
Feathers? -- If you make sure not to tickle me, sure.
Pyrophilia (Fire Play)? -- ... That way lies an incredible world of pain. And lengthy explanations to the fire department and insurance company, especially with my track record. Also, there's every chance I'd get distracted and go 'prettttty flaaaaaaames' and forget all about what we're supposed to be doing. Which, once again, breaks the mood.
Fisting? -- I'm scared now..
.
Food Play? -- Okay. Are we talking strategic use of whipped cream and maple syrup here or complete Christmas dinner with ice cream to follow? Because I can do the former (as long as I can take a shower really damned quickly afterwards). If you're carrying a full hog roast into the bedroom, however, I'm going to be asking some serious questions. Just as a hint, I''ll not be likely to ask you 'is that a hog in your pocket or are you happy to see me?', nor will I feel the overwhelming urge to tell you to 'come here, you mighty hunter and fuck me silly'. Best case scenario, I'm going to ask you where the coleslaw is.
Fuck Machines/Robots? -- Wouldn't that be cold and, well, edgy?
Furry/Fur Fetishism? -- I admire well-made fursuits. There are furs out there that make me go 'hee!. There are furs out there that I have more than half a crush on. I can see the appeal and I would not object to dating one, but overall it does not really float my boat. Except possibly texture-wise. Mmmm. Textuuuuure.
Gangbangs? -- I can see that one go wrong in so many painful and dramatic ways.
Genital Worship? -- How would that work? Are we talking a small shrine to my clitoris here? Daily prayers towards the vestibular bulbs? Prostrations before the might of the labia majora? What? I'm just not sure what to think of this one.
Guns (Gun Play, Worship)? -- Meep? Mummy?
Hair Pulling? -- In moderation. Leave it on my head is the level I am aiming for here. I will endeavour to do the same. If you ask me to do otherwise I probably would try, but I'd likely be unsuccessfully fighting the urge to apologise as I'm ripping clumps of hair out of your scalp. As mentioned before: moodbreaker.
Harnesses? -- I've not come across them. I have no opinion.
High Heels/Stilettos? -- Stilettos make my hip squeak in protest, but high heeled stompy boots? Good gods, yes. Especially knee highs. I like how they feel and how they look and and and. Also, I apparently don't look half bad in them myself.
Humiliation? -- No. Don't. Even. Try. It.
Infantilism (Pacifiers/Bottles, etc.)? -- Dude, there's a reason I don't want children, you know...
Kidnapping Play? -- It's...never come up?
Klismaphilia (Douching/Enema)? -- Nooooooooo.
Knives (Razors, Swords, other blades)? -- Gnnn. Swords. Mmmm. Knives. Mmmm. Preeeetty. I'd be worried if they were introduced into a bedroom scenario, though. 'Oh gods, I'm sorry! Bugger, we only painted that wall last week!'
Lace/Lingerie? -- I like it, but not as a fetish. I'm willing to accommodate, though.
Latex? -- I don't see the appeal myself, but I am willing to accommodate someone else.
Leather? -- Hell, yes. The smell, the texture. Old worn leather. New supple leather. Raw leather. The smell of a cured lamb or calf skin. Mmmmm. Which reminds me, I need to get BPAL's De Sade on the Best Beloved (as if I really need another reason to jump him).
Making Home "Movies"? -- With the existence of Youtube? Bad idea.
Masks (Erotic/Gas Masks, etc.)? -- I can't see this working. I like interacting with someone. Kissing, touching, seeing them. Masks would get in the way.
Masochism? -- It's never come up.
Massage? -- Like I am going to turn down either giving or receiving a massage!
Master/Slave? -- Even if someone were able to convince me, I still worry that I'd be giggling too much in either role for it to be effective.
Masturbation (Mutual or Forced)? -- Fun! Except for the forced bit. That one's ambivalent.
Medical Scenes/Equipment? -- I don't have a trauma or anything, but believe me when I say this: once you've had a 7' tall, completely hairless Dutch version of Patrick Stewart rootling around in your vagina for about 10 minutes muttering something roughly along the lines of 'where the hell is it? Damn, this isn't long enough. Hang on, I'm changing speculums. It has to be here somewh...ah! Found it! Oh bugger, it slipped. Sorry, I'll have to try again'* with regards to your cervix, any erotic daydreams about a dreamy doctor coming to your rescue goes flying right out the window, I can tell you.
Menstruation (Sex During, Eating, etc.)? -- If my partner is not squicked by me bleeding like a stuck pig and is willing to have sexy fun times with me: yay! If you actually get off on my bleeding like a stuck pig and have to shag like bunnies? I'm going to be worried because I'm not sure I want to deal with that all the time. I'm on my period. I am grumpy and feel bloated and horrible and also, hey, bleeding from my vagina which is never going to make me feel like the world's most desirable woman.
Murder Fetishism? -- I'm so creeped out right now I don't even have anything funny to say.
Military Fetish/Uniforms? -- I like a man or woman who looks good in uniform or smart dress. Yum. Not a fetish, though.
Milk Fetishism/Lactation? -- My eyebrows have now taken up residence midway up my forehead.
Necrophilia (Death, Corpses)? -- ... No, thank you. I have seen too many dead people in my life to even want to contemplate being merely associated with someone who finds corpses attractive in that particular way, let alone would want me to pretend to be one.
Nipples? -- Mind the teeth.
Oral Fixations? -- You mean like smoking or chewing gum or sucking sweets? I've no idea what this means, really.
Oral Sex? -- Yes, please.
Pain (Giving/Receiving)? -- In moderation and only if it flows from what's happening already. Setting out to do that and that alone and without mentioning? Bad idea. A) I hit back when I am hurt without warning. No, really. Without holding back. Which would lead to B) Erm...you okay? Oh dear...I think you'll need stitches for that. Let me get you a towel.'
Pet Play (Pony/Puppy/Kitty, etc)? -- Aaaand now my eyebrows have disappeared into my hairline.
Piercings? -- Yes, please!
Pinching? -- Sure! Just...there needs to be practice to establish a comfort level beforehand. Don't just go leaping in with 'I want to pinch!', because I am likely to flatten your nose across your face in reflex. Did I mention I do not deal well with unexpected inflicted pain?
Play Piercing/Needle Play? -- Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh. Alternatively: sure, you want to stab me with a needle, I get to stab you with this fork. In the testicles. Repeatedly. Deal?
Plushophilia (Stuffed animals, Plushies)? -- Oooookay. Eyebrows near top of head now.
Podophilia (Foot Fetish)? -- No...if only because the effort a foot fetishist would have to go through to be able to just stroke my feet without their nose getting flattened across their face would make me feel bad and a horrible partner. I think the most you're ever going to get on that front is cuddling. And even then I'd be lying there going 'gnnnnyerg'.
Power Exchange? -- Yesyesyes. Power play and power exchange can be fun with someone you trust and love. I never knew this!
Pregnancy Fetishism? -- Nope. Childfree and happy. Don't want a bump, be quite scared to be with someone who gets all hot and bothered about a bump.
Punishment? -- No, thank you. I'm not a child anymore. I don't ever deserve 'punishment' like that. We're not playing this game and I'm not going to go into this any further. If that's your thing: fuck off.
The Rack/Medieval Devices? -- I'd like to have one, to be sure. Not to use it (see the whole punishment thing before), but to have one. For artistic something. Thing is, where would I put one? I mean, it'd need a basement to get the whole 'feel' of it. Entirely impractical.
Raptophilia (Sexual arousal from being raped)? -- As with biastophilia up there: if it is a fantasy and between consenting adults, knock yourself out. Anything else, just...no.
Religious (Nunplay, Priestplay)? -- Nope. Do not even have any cultural background to make that one a valid option in my brain.
Retifism (Shoes or Boots)? -- Some of the boots out there make me go 'guh'. Some of the ones I wear make others go 'guh'. I can see this one without a telescope, is what I'm saying.
Rimming? -- I can take it or leave it as the mood strikes me.
Role Playing? -- It has never come up.
Rubber? -- Not my thing, but I suppose I'm willing to accommodate.
Sadism? -- This has not come up.
Scent? -- Oh yes. Definite part of texture and touch. Someone has to smell 'right'. Which reminds me once again, must test De Sade on Best Beloved. Raw leather scent + Best Beloved = Joy (hopefully!)
Sensory Deprivation? -- Blindfold, fine. Darkness, fine. No sound? Less fine. No touch? Not fine at all. Leads to flaily panicky unfun times. Do not try this at home.
Smoking Fetishism? -- No. Even being a smoker (I'm not ready to call myself an ex-smoker yet), I'm going 'no'.
Spanking/Paddling? -- Yay! (On an entirely intellectual level, having not yet tried this. As long as it is not in a discipline or punishment or humiliation kind of way.)
Statuephilia (Mannequins, Dolls, etc.)? -- Nope. If you want to shag something that doesn't move or interact with you, go hump a rock.
Stockings/Fishnets/Pantyhose? -- While not something that makes me go 'glee!' on its own, I am happy to oblige. Now, knee high stripy socks? I am all over those. Also fingerless gloves.
Talking Dirty/Verbal Humiliation/Abuse? -- Okay, but you had damned well better be nice about it. Dirty talk is entirely wonderful, but call me names or disrespect me and you're sleeping in the backyard. For a month.
Tickling? -- I suppose. If you're not particularly attached to the shape of your nose, that is.
Tongue Fetish? -- Tongues are good. They're useful and fun. I am unsure how to fetishise them, though.
Toys (Buttplugs, Vibrators, etc.)? -- The more toys the merrier! (Though you may have to put up with me studying the manual a bit before getting down to business. I do so dislike trips to A&E, you know?
Transvestism? -- Sure. As long as we both get to play.
Urolagnia (Water Sports/Urine)? -- Yyyyeah. No.
Violence/Physical Injury? -- Look, I am entirely too good at inflicting injury by accident (to either myself or others). I really do not want to open the door to deliberately having it done to me or doing it to others. I'd hate to have to go to A&E and say 'and then his spleen came out in my hand!'.
Voyeurism? -- I get incredibly uncomfortable watching especially passionate kissing (let alone sex scenes) on the TV or movie screen when there are other people about. I'm all kinds of down with casual half and full nudity, but if you're going to hump each other's legs or play a game of tonsil hockey, I'd just as soon you get a room.
Wrestling/Fighting? -- Sure! I love getting close and physical and sweaty, tired and worked up like that. That is where power play comes in for me. You can let someone win, or they can let you win, but you have to earn it. I like winning with wrestling or playfighting, but when I've given it my all, I like losing a whole lot more.
Zombies/Gore? -- You're serious?
*Considering I am doing TMI anyway: my reproductive bits are both retroverted (cervix) and retroflexed (uterus), meaning the entire lot is angled towards my spine rather than my bladder. Which apparently makes it a real bugger to locate and work with.
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no subject
Date: 2010-12-22 05:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-22 03:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-22 07:48 am (UTC)I'm curious as to why still photography doesn't have the same problems as "home movies"... presumably either one requires somebody who is trusted with the material?
no subject
Date: 2010-12-22 12:19 pm (UTC)(But that's just in my opinion)
no subject
Date: 2010-12-22 03:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-22 10:32 am (UTC)Also, there's an event after summer that I'm now determined to drag you to..
no subject
Date: 2010-12-22 01:23 pm (UTC)NSFW! (not extreme, but some nekkidness)
no subject
Date: 2010-12-22 03:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-22 11:21 am (UTC)