More conversations with cats
Apr. 20th, 2006 11:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sessifet"Cats do not drink coffee. Get off the desk."
"There is food in your bowl. No, seriously, there is food in your bowl. I'm not going to feed you because there is already Food. In. Your. Bowl. I know this, because I put it there not half an hour ago. Now kindly shut up."
"Neither do cats drink tea. Get off the desk."
"No washing your private bits on the d...ew."
"I'm in the shower. Under warm running water. You hate water, so why do you insist on opening the door and coming in? You know you'll only get wet. See? Told you. Oooh, don't you dare pin this on me! Stop that hissing right now, you little imp."
"My lap is already occupied. See this really really big book? It's on my lap. Therefore there is no room on my lap for you. No. You can't. No. Get off. I'm trying to read here. Get. Off. My. Book."
"Snowball! Stop running up and down the stairs like a loon. You'll only fall off again and hurt yours...oh no. Are you okay?"
"I'm really not impressed by that poofy tail. Feel free to put it away."
"Er...Kenny? Why are you licking my foot?"
"My food."
"What was that crash?"
"Mine."
"Why is there mud on the floo...oh. Mum gave me that plant, you know."
"I could swear I had a cheese toastie just now. Anyone care to explain why I no longer have a cheesetoastie?"
"Oh, I'm ever so sorry for wanting some blankets all to myself. It's not like it's 25 degrees outside you know? And I don't come with handy fur to keep me warm, so can I please have some blanket? Some more please. Thank you."
"Shut up! It's four in the bloody morning! You will not be fed, or let out, or be petted for at least another three hours. Go to sleep. Not on top of Kenny. Or on top of me. Or on top of Johan."
"My bum is not a bouncy castle!"
"Neither are my boobs!"
"You don't want to pounce on that particular spot. The man won't appreciate it. I'm warning you..."
"That's my foot! My foot is not a toy! How many times to I need to tell you that my limbs are not toys!"
"Slink faster, you furry little psychopath."
"There is food in your bowl. No, seriously, there is food in your bowl. I'm not going to feed you because there is already Food. In. Your. Bowl. I know this, because I put it there not half an hour ago. Now kindly shut up."
"Neither do cats drink tea. Get off the desk."
"No washing your private bits on the d...ew."
"I'm in the shower. Under warm running water. You hate water, so why do you insist on opening the door and coming in? You know you'll only get wet. See? Told you. Oooh, don't you dare pin this on me! Stop that hissing right now, you little imp."
"My lap is already occupied. See this really really big book? It's on my lap. Therefore there is no room on my lap for you. No. You can't. No. Get off. I'm trying to read here. Get. Off. My. Book."
"Snowball! Stop running up and down the stairs like a loon. You'll only fall off again and hurt yours...oh no. Are you okay?"
"I'm really not impressed by that poofy tail. Feel free to put it away."
"Er...Kenny? Why are you licking my foot?"
"My food."
"What was that crash?"
"Mine."
"Why is there mud on the floo...oh. Mum gave me that plant, you know."
"I could swear I had a cheese toastie just now. Anyone care to explain why I no longer have a cheesetoastie?"
"Oh, I'm ever so sorry for wanting some blankets all to myself. It's not like it's 25 degrees outside you know? And I don't come with handy fur to keep me warm, so can I please have some blanket? Some more please. Thank you."
"Shut up! It's four in the bloody morning! You will not be fed, or let out, or be petted for at least another three hours. Go to sleep. Not on top of Kenny. Or on top of me. Or on top of Johan."
"My bum is not a bouncy castle!"
"Neither are my boobs!"
"You don't want to pounce on that particular spot. The man won't appreciate it. I'm warning you..."
"That's my foot! My foot is not a toy! How many times to I need to tell you that my limbs are not toys!"
"Slink faster, you furry little psychopath."
