Even more conversations with cats
Apr. 27th, 2006 11:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sessifet"I'm fairly certain I told you guys numerous times that you are not allowed on the desk. Don't look at me like that. No, I'm not falling for that 'Desk? what des...ooooh, this desk? I thought you meant that desk' routine. Get off the desk."
"Stop licking my leg, Kenny."
"You want to go out again? I just let you back in! What do you think I am? Your personal doorman? What do you mean, 'yes'?"
"Kenny? Look down. What do you see? Yes, that is a desk beneath your paws. A desk that is not supposed to be beneath your paws, as I already told you not five minutes ago. Get down. On the floor. The floor. Floor. NOW. Thank you."
"Snowball, same goes for you. I don't care you can't reach that spider when you're on the floor. You do not get on the desk. Go hunt a spider that's closer to the floor. Now get off the desk."
"Stop licking my leg."
"Ahahah *ow*. Those are my toes."
"Get out of the linen closet. No, this is not a portal to the magical land of plenty. It's a linen closet, and you're not allowed to be in there."
"Do you mind? I'm on the toilet. No, you can't come in. Stop scratching at the door. I'm not letting you in. Go away."
"Cats do not eat brownies!"
"Why are you in the oven? Uhuh, 'the door was open' is not an excuse."
"For heaven's sake, Kenny! Stop licking my leg! Weirdo."
"Cats do not belong in sinks."
"Okay, Kenny? 'Body butter'? Not the same as 'butter'. At all. Stop trying to eat it."
"Snowball, we really need to go over this whole 'ambush' thing. You know, the purpose of an ambush is to ambush people. It requires stealth. And cunning. And a good hiding place. Behind my shoe? Not a good hiding place."
"What are you doing in my bedside table? No, this is also not the portal to the magical land of plenty. Get out."
"Stop bouncing around the house like a slinky on crack!"
"I hate you so very very much."
"Stop humping Kenny!"
"Oh...ew."
"Let's go over this one more time, okay? Litter stays in the litter box. No need to spray it all over the kitchen."
"How do you live with yourselves?"
"Why didn't I get a dog?"
"Give that back, you little imp!"
Kill me now.
"Stop licking my leg, Kenny."
"You want to go out again? I just let you back in! What do you think I am? Your personal doorman? What do you mean, 'yes'?"
"Kenny? Look down. What do you see? Yes, that is a desk beneath your paws. A desk that is not supposed to be beneath your paws, as I already told you not five minutes ago. Get down. On the floor. The floor. Floor. NOW. Thank you."
"Snowball, same goes for you. I don't care you can't reach that spider when you're on the floor. You do not get on the desk. Go hunt a spider that's closer to the floor. Now get off the desk."
"Stop licking my leg."
"Ahahah *ow*. Those are my toes."
"Get out of the linen closet. No, this is not a portal to the magical land of plenty. It's a linen closet, and you're not allowed to be in there."
"Do you mind? I'm on the toilet. No, you can't come in. Stop scratching at the door. I'm not letting you in. Go away."
"Cats do not eat brownies!"
"Why are you in the oven? Uhuh, 'the door was open' is not an excuse."
"For heaven's sake, Kenny! Stop licking my leg! Weirdo."
"Cats do not belong in sinks."
"Okay, Kenny? 'Body butter'? Not the same as 'butter'. At all. Stop trying to eat it."
"Snowball, we really need to go over this whole 'ambush' thing. You know, the purpose of an ambush is to ambush people. It requires stealth. And cunning. And a good hiding place. Behind my shoe? Not a good hiding place."
"What are you doing in my bedside table? No, this is also not the portal to the magical land of plenty. Get out."
"Stop bouncing around the house like a slinky on crack!"
"I hate you so very very much."
"Stop humping Kenny!"
"Oh...ew."
"Let's go over this one more time, okay? Litter stays in the litter box. No need to spray it all over the kitchen."
"How do you live with yourselves?"
"Why didn't I get a dog?"
"Give that back, you little imp!"
Kill me now.
