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sessifetI've come to terms with being broken. I know I can't do everything, and I know I need to pace myself to make sure my hip and back do not go 'eep' loudly. I'm better than I was a few months ago (yay swimming). I also know it won't ever go away and I will be in pain for the rest of my life.
I can deal. I cope. I'm actually starting not to panic when I remember being told about being disabled. During the week, I am fine.
But on weekends?
Gods, on weekends I wish there was nothing wrong with me. Even if I am in just the right bed, I cannot spend more than 9 hours there*. I would give anything to be able to grab a book or partner, tea, some toast and spend all day in bed. I want to be able to choose to snooze or laze or snuggle the day away. I don't want to be jealous of people who can do so and don't get kicked out of bed by their bodies.
* Unless I am a) ill or b) exhausted. The only reason I do not get out of bed at those times is because I can't and I pay for it later.
I can deal. I cope. I'm actually starting not to panic when I remember being told about being disabled. During the week, I am fine.
But on weekends?
Gods, on weekends I wish there was nothing wrong with me. Even if I am in just the right bed, I cannot spend more than 9 hours there*. I would give anything to be able to grab a book or partner, tea, some toast and spend all day in bed. I want to be able to choose to snooze or laze or snuggle the day away. I don't want to be jealous of people who can do so and don't get kicked out of bed by their bodies.
* Unless I am a) ill or b) exhausted. The only reason I do not get out of bed at those times is because I can't and I pay for it later.
