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sessifetI'm occasionally bloody angry at my ex and how he treated me and allowed his parents to have a say in our lives. However, I firmly believe that the best revenge is living well, and I don't tend to wish bodily harm upon him*.
It's just that sometimes I wish I had a herd of pet mastodons to unleash. I would send them over to The Netherlands to lurk in the bushes. Then when he left work or the pub (or, even better, his parents' place) there'd be this cry of 'Mastodon ho!' and the whole herd would bear down with thunderous footfalls and trumpeting. And then it'd be on the news: 'Sad bachelor man and his incredibly nosy and co-dependent parents had to spend their night in a tree after being chased there by mastodons'. Hopefully there'd be a shaky mobile phone recording of a young mastodon jumping up and down in glee on his car. And then I'd laugh like a hyena.
...
It appears I still have some anger issues to work out.
*His parents? Different story. They were older and, in their own words, wiser. They should have damned well known better. I wish them a lifetime of stepping on legos in the dark.
It's just that sometimes I wish I had a herd of pet mastodons to unleash. I would send them over to The Netherlands to lurk in the bushes. Then when he left work or the pub (or, even better, his parents' place) there'd be this cry of 'Mastodon ho!' and the whole herd would bear down with thunderous footfalls and trumpeting. And then it'd be on the news: 'Sad bachelor man and his incredibly nosy and co-dependent parents had to spend their night in a tree after being chased there by mastodons'. Hopefully there'd be a shaky mobile phone recording of a young mastodon jumping up and down in glee on his car. And then I'd laugh like a hyena.
...
It appears I still have some anger issues to work out.
*His parents? Different story. They were older and, in their own words, wiser. They should have damned well known better. I wish them a lifetime of stepping on legos in the dark.
