I am not a gamer
Dec. 2nd, 2011 12:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sessifetNo really, I'm not. I like playing games, but I hate having to figure out the controls and system and all that and it is because a) I do not have the brain for it and b) I do not have the patience for it.
I play games because of the story. I love being immersed into a new and different world. Give me a strong story hook and I will gallumph all over the game map completing quests and sidequests and finding treasure and sometimes cackling with glee as I find new places where my dog can pee. I'm looking at you, Betrayal at Krondor and Dragon Age: Origins respectively.
Give me an interesting hook and an interesting world to explore and I will spend hours collecting flowers, pearls and nicking stuff before going back to the main story. And then I'll get distracted again because reading every single book in the world is just an awesome idea! Or maybe I'll try to become the head of the Thieves Guild. I'm looking at you, Morrowind (and Skyrim).
I love games where I get to build a team and get to know the individual characters. I will complete any and all sidequests a beloved companion character shows the least interest in. I will bend over backwards in order to complete their personal subquest(s). Seriously, Varric Tethras is an awesome character (hi, Dragon Age 2!) and I wish he'd been a romance option because he's the best character by far.
Erm...where was I? Right!
Thing is, I'm not subtle. My favourite character type is a warrior. Given even half a chance, I will create a dual-weapon wielding dwarf (with full racial bonuses for war-axes if applicable), charge into combat screaming 'Death from below!' and start seriously menacing some knees. This probably means I have some deep-seated issues, but as long as I'm having fun and not doing it in real life, who cares?
Unfortunately, I'm often 'forced' to play a rogue character because the best loot's in locked and trapped rooms and chests (bastards...), but even then I usually dual-wield weapons and mostly take the screaming insane route in the absence of locks and/or traps. My party members are there to back me up if I fall over or get in over my head. I specifically made them that way!
Making them essential to success on higher difficulty levels? Fine with that! I don't play higher difficulties, because again: I am not a gamer. I have no problems with choosing 'easy' or 'casual' because I am in it for the story. (And the hacking things off at the knees. Possibly fireballing them. And chain lightning. Hee, twitchy! *ahem*) I do not feel my gaming-peen is diminished by doing this.
I get more of a reward to be all stealthy and sneaky? Awesome! I will send in my pet rogue/assassin to be all rogue/assassin-y. That's what he/she is there for. I probably made sure he/she is very good at it, because I am smart that way. But here's the thing: I will only give it two or three goes. If stealthy rogueness doesn't work? Screamy-flaily-death-from-below-or-at-least-somewhere-near-the-knees time. Sometimes screamy-flaily-death-by-fireball time.
You will have noticed I have not mentioned controls here. It's because most games I like have simple controls for simple people: click once for death-from-below. Click different button to make death-from-below come from above for a change. Use mouse to make sure screaming-death-from-below is in fact aimed at an enemy, not at a tree. Those kinds of controls I can handle.
Tactics I can also handle (in a gather everyone, point at enemy and go 'kill' kind of way), but this relies on me being able to select and take direct control of individual party members.
Indirectly controlling characters via a command screen? You'd best make damned sure you have explained exactly how to do this, otherwise I'm just going to ignore them and do my own thing because it is easier. Especially when the game doesn't come with a sodding manual...*waves at Mass Effect* Yeah, talking about you here.
If you then make my ability to figure out how to give commands to team members (with powers I don't even know how to use for my main character because you have not fucking explained this in the game) mandatory in order to progress to the next bit, I'm going to get annoyed. Especially if I have to go online and search for the answer. Because guess what? The game's apparently only been played by gamers who have magical console translating powers or some such rot! And wanting a simple step-by-step explanation means I'm a moron who should just get off the computer and make sandwiches like a good girl. Whoo! And people wonder why I don't want to associate with 99.9% of the gaming populace...
How the hell am I supposed to know I need to go to the command screen, hold space and the right mouse button and move the mouse to aim and click on the biotic power I want my team mate to use and then let go of the space bar? You didn't say that in the little pop-up screen! You just said 'Get whatisface over there to use Throw on the enemy'. And then when I finally figure the damned thing out, it doesn't work! And I die!
This is annoying!
And you're not allowing me the chance to go 'you know what? Throw doesn't work? Fucking death from 5 fucking inches away then, you bastard Geth Destroyer', because when I try that tactic, I die some more! I'm sure someone will tell me I should crouch behind cover some more and use Throw on the fuckers like it's going out of style while attempting to shoot them in the face, but I shouldn't have to. You should never use just one approach to a problem! If the ideal option doesn't work, go for the less ideal one! Especially if the less ideal option allows me to run in screaming 'death from fucking below, you geth bastards!' and shoot them in the non-existent bollocks.
*sigh* I probably care too much about this. But I've heard it's a good game with a good story and the thought of having to give up less than an hour in because I can't work out the controls and I can't find idiot-proof instructions is just...
Bah. It vexes me.
I play games because of the story. I love being immersed into a new and different world. Give me a strong story hook and I will gallumph all over the game map completing quests and sidequests and finding treasure and sometimes cackling with glee as I find new places where my dog can pee. I'm looking at you, Betrayal at Krondor and Dragon Age: Origins respectively.
Give me an interesting hook and an interesting world to explore and I will spend hours collecting flowers, pearls and nicking stuff before going back to the main story. And then I'll get distracted again because reading every single book in the world is just an awesome idea! Or maybe I'll try to become the head of the Thieves Guild. I'm looking at you, Morrowind (and Skyrim).
I love games where I get to build a team and get to know the individual characters. I will complete any and all sidequests a beloved companion character shows the least interest in. I will bend over backwards in order to complete their personal subquest(s). Seriously, Varric Tethras is an awesome character (hi, Dragon Age 2!) and I wish he'd been a romance option because he's the best character by far.
Erm...where was I? Right!
Thing is, I'm not subtle. My favourite character type is a warrior. Given even half a chance, I will create a dual-weapon wielding dwarf (with full racial bonuses for war-axes if applicable), charge into combat screaming 'Death from below!' and start seriously menacing some knees. This probably means I have some deep-seated issues, but as long as I'm having fun and not doing it in real life, who cares?
Unfortunately, I'm often 'forced' to play a rogue character because the best loot's in locked and trapped rooms and chests (bastards...), but even then I usually dual-wield weapons and mostly take the screaming insane route in the absence of locks and/or traps. My party members are there to back me up if I fall over or get in over my head. I specifically made them that way!
Making them essential to success on higher difficulty levels? Fine with that! I don't play higher difficulties, because again: I am not a gamer. I have no problems with choosing 'easy' or 'casual' because I am in it for the story. (And the hacking things off at the knees. Possibly fireballing them. And chain lightning. Hee, twitchy! *ahem*) I do not feel my gaming-peen is diminished by doing this.
I get more of a reward to be all stealthy and sneaky? Awesome! I will send in my pet rogue/assassin to be all rogue/assassin-y. That's what he/she is there for. I probably made sure he/she is very good at it, because I am smart that way. But here's the thing: I will only give it two or three goes. If stealthy rogueness doesn't work? Screamy-flaily-death-from-below-or-at-least-somewhere-near-the-knees time. Sometimes screamy-flaily-death-by-fireball time.
You will have noticed I have not mentioned controls here. It's because most games I like have simple controls for simple people: click once for death-from-below. Click different button to make death-from-below come from above for a change. Use mouse to make sure screaming-death-from-below is in fact aimed at an enemy, not at a tree. Those kinds of controls I can handle.
Tactics I can also handle (in a gather everyone, point at enemy and go 'kill' kind of way), but this relies on me being able to select and take direct control of individual party members.
Indirectly controlling characters via a command screen? You'd best make damned sure you have explained exactly how to do this, otherwise I'm just going to ignore them and do my own thing because it is easier. Especially when the game doesn't come with a sodding manual...*waves at Mass Effect* Yeah, talking about you here.
If you then make my ability to figure out how to give commands to team members (with powers I don't even know how to use for my main character because you have not fucking explained this in the game) mandatory in order to progress to the next bit, I'm going to get annoyed. Especially if I have to go online and search for the answer. Because guess what? The game's apparently only been played by gamers who have magical console translating powers or some such rot! And wanting a simple step-by-step explanation means I'm a moron who should just get off the computer and make sandwiches like a good girl. Whoo! And people wonder why I don't want to associate with 99.9% of the gaming populace...
How the hell am I supposed to know I need to go to the command screen, hold space and the right mouse button and move the mouse to aim and click on the biotic power I want my team mate to use and then let go of the space bar? You didn't say that in the little pop-up screen! You just said 'Get whatisface over there to use Throw on the enemy'. And then when I finally figure the damned thing out, it doesn't work! And I die!
This is annoying!
And you're not allowing me the chance to go 'you know what? Throw doesn't work? Fucking death from 5 fucking inches away then, you bastard Geth Destroyer', because when I try that tactic, I die some more! I'm sure someone will tell me I should crouch behind cover some more and use Throw on the fuckers like it's going out of style while attempting to shoot them in the face, but I shouldn't have to. You should never use just one approach to a problem! If the ideal option doesn't work, go for the less ideal one! Especially if the less ideal option allows me to run in screaming 'death from fucking below, you geth bastards!' and shoot them in the non-existent bollocks.
*sigh* I probably care too much about this. But I've heard it's a good game with a good story and the thought of having to give up less than an hour in because I can't work out the controls and I can't find idiot-proof instructions is just...
Bah. It vexes me.
