sessifet | Depression: having bad days is okay

So I spent most of the second half of 2012 being significantly depressed. Due to wonky brain chemistry, I am prone to depressive episodes anyway, but irregular sleeping patterns, sleep deprivation, stressful job and uncontrolled asthma helped push me into my worst one yet. I want to say that after I quit the job and got back into a regular sleeping pattern, I bounced straight back into normality (or what I considered to be normality), but it'd be a lie. I still spent most of my days in a grey fog of nothing much, but at least I had the spare spoons to be a more productive half of our relationship and to be more social overall.

It wasn't until the beginning of April that I really noticed a general increase in levels of cope. Six weeks and some change on, the difference is startling to me. I look back two, four, six months and more and not even the brainweasels can convince me that I am not a hell of a lot better today. Still, that doesn't mean my levels of cope have returned to normal. A bad night's sleep full of anxiety dreams will still empty my mental reservoir. I still sometimes wake up in the morning with my brain telling me I'm on my own for the day. And you know what? That's okay. I'm allowed to have bad days. It's entirely acceptable to take a brain vacation or a have a duvet day. It doesn't mean I'm sliding back down the slope, it just means I don't have to climb that day and can take a rest. I can do whatever I need to take care of myself.

And now I'm done thinking. I'm having a duvet day.